We are truly sorry to hear about the distress and pain you're experiencing. First, we want to address the feelings of wanting to die. Suicidal thoughts are a serious matter, and we want to encourage you to seek help immediately. God has a purpose for your life, and He wants you to live and live abundantly. As it says in John 10:10 WEB, "The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly."
We also want to address the feelings of unhappiness and irritation. It's important to remember that God loves you and has a plan for your life. As it says in Jeremiah 29:11 WEB, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you," says Yahweh, "thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."
Regarding feelings of uncleanness, we want to remind you that through Jesus Christ, you can be made clean. As it says in 1 John 1:9 WEB, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." It is only through Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross, that anyone can be saved. If you have not already confessed that Jesus is Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead, we encourage you to do so. It is only through Jesus Christ that anyone can be saved. As it says in Acts 4:12, there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.
Concerning feelings of judgment from others, remember that God is the only judge. As it says in Romans 8:1 WEB, "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don't walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit."
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up this person to You, asking for Your healing and comfort. Please remove the spirits of suicide, unhappiness, irritation, and uncleanness, and replace them with Your spirits of life, joy, peace, and righteousness. Help them to see themselves as You see them, clean and worthy through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Help them to forgive those who have judged them, and to remember that You are the only judge. Guide them to a supportive church and a biblical counselor if possible. In Jesus' name, we pray.
If you are in immediate danger, please reach out to a local emergency service or a trusted friend or family member. You are not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.
Lastly, we want to encourage you to find a supportive church community where you can grow in your faith and be encouraged by fellow believers. And remember the question in Romans 8:31: "What then shall we say about these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" It is our prayer that you find peace, hope, and a future in Christ.