Duiday
Disciple of Prayer
Hi I need a special prayer request. My husband ### and I have been together for 11 yrs. We have two children one 2 soon to be 3 and the other 12 yrs old. We have been having issues on and off. My husband has porn addiction along with acceptance issues. He has had a mother that has married 3x and a father that neglected him. He believes in God and we meet in church but he is lost. He still brings up God occasionally but sometimes I believe it is in his favor. Example is he thinks he is all knowledgeable and I should submit to him. I am more of an open-minded Christian who believes balance in marriage is respect from both husband and wife and not one bossing the other. Recently he has been cold to me. He has told me things like he wishes he would have gotten to know me better before he married me and that when he retires if I do not move out west with him he will leave me behind. Not getting that concept as in marriage if someone loves you they would not leave you behind. From the start I have been upright with him. I told him in the beginning (Pre children) that I am family oriented. I love family and enjoy them. I have no plans to move far from family and I am happy where my roots are. I also let him know I have nothing to do with porn. I have an ex that was into that and I did not want to deal with that again. It makes me not feel beautiful or enough. He wants to move out west to be where nothing is. The only thing there is his father who will be dead by then (his planned move) who neglected him as a child. His father also has the love of money (he left ### as a child for money). His father left ### with an abusive stepfather who raised him. ### Recognizes that he was abused and that his mother should have cared better and his father should have stepped up to protect him but he seems to be always looking for acceptance instead of being real with them. As I say acceptance I mean he to this day makes rash decisions thinking that his parents will love him. I am confused. He has told me the devil tries to get him to separate from me but then he tells me that he loves me and it will never happen. After that He tells me our house is negative and he is about to go insane. I will admit I yell. I am stressed. I have a job I hate (would rather be stay at home but ### will not let me) I work on the phones and get yelled at all day. It takes an emotional toll and I cannot defend myself or I will get fired. I have to just take the abuse from people. Also we are graded on surveys and everyone is unhappy. I am afraid right now I will get fired. My quality is good and I am following company protocol but because my surveys are below 90 percent I face being fired. I try so hard to do what people want me to do on the phone just to get a good survey but I am still short and I do not understand because I use pleasantries and I am nice and go out of my way. Also after my job I do most the cooking and cleaning. ### deals with physical work and finances. He tells me I have it easy and I sit all day for a job. That hurts. I also do most the rearing of the children. I am a mess myself. I am now on zoloft just because I know my family deserves better and not a mom who cries everyday. I am trying to help myself. I have prayed everyday for this depression to heal but cannot find the answer to that. God is not ready to move for me yet and to get me out of this season. I know I am saying a lot of negative but there is a lot of positive. ### Likes carpentry. He loves to laugh and have fun with me. I can be myself with him. When we get along we get along and it is magical even after 11 yrs. I need prayers for my marriage. I need him to see that his wife should come first and that he should adore me. I need him to be less selfish right now. I need him to see he hurt me and that I am loyal. I have never cheated on him and would never leave. I am trying to pray. I know God can open up the heart. Please help me pray. I know the Devil is a great destroyer and he has targeted me. Please help me....In Jesus Name amen. ###