Feyordyn
Disciple of Prayer
Hi Everyone, please keep me in your prayers . I really don%u2019t want to share how I feel but I feel a need to do so because I feel so broken . I recently got out of a 4 year relationship. I was emotionally , verbally, and mentally abused. At the end, he physically attacked me. I gave all of me to him. I stuck by him through everything and put myself last to put him first. I neglected myself daily. I uplifted him, listened to him , paid his bills, bought him groceries when he didn%u2019t have any , fell behind on my own stuff to help him catch up on his, paid his cellphone bill , prevented his license from being suspended by paying that huge fee so he could stay on the road and go to work, and SO MUCH MORE. You get the picture. I was basically being a wife without the title . Either way , that was my goal , to be a wife. He cheated on me, financially drained me by constantly asking me for money , manipulated me , insulted me , and made me feel worthless. I tolerated it because %u201C I loved him.%u201D I cried to him and told him how much he hurt me and he told me %u201C I know you%u2019re hurt but I honestly don%u2019t care.%u201D I left the relationship. I acted out of character and insulted him and his family to the extreme. I feel like crap and ashamed . I said my share of bad things to him because I was so hurt . But now I feel like I%u2019m solely the bad Person for doing that. I don%u2019t know what to do . I still have a soul tie. A STRONG ONE . We did EVERYTHING. I need to break it. I%u2019m left with guilt and shame and the devil is trying to convince me that it%u2019s all my fault . I feel like Im labeled as %u201Ccrazy%u201D because of all the harsh messages I sent back to back. Why do I care so much about what he thinks of me after being treated so bad by him ?My self esteem and confidence are completely shattered. The devil knows exactly where to attack . I can%u2019t help myself by constantly checking his social media. After the break up, he followed a whole range of females, %u201Cvideo%u201D models , and porn stars. He goes on a liking spree , retweets naked females, and does exactly everything that I hated while being in a relationship and it%u2019s literally eating me alive. My name is tainted and I fell to the trap of retaliation. Please help me with your prayers. I need deliverance.