Marylean
Humble Prayer Partner
Hi everyone - I just want to say thank you for your prayers - and just request that yourselves just continue to pray for my ### and myself, that he will come out of the bubble he has been in for the last 8 years. He never leaves the home, afraid of going out and only stands outside when it's dark so he can get some air. He does this because he has this thing that people are always looking at him because he is so skinny, he believes they are talking about him and laughing, but it's all in his head. The GP has said over the years, he isn't on drugs or an alcoholic so they can't help him, he suffers panic attacks just being around people. Has been like this since he was 18 now 24 - putting so much pressure on the home as I have to do everything, can't depend on him to go out and get me for anything, he can't even go and throw the rubbish out in the daytime. He is such a bright son, so much potential, I know God has had his hands on him since he was born, because of the dreams he would tell me, when he was baptised as a child, he told me he saw a cloud within our home once. He could tell you about angels he seen as a child. I know God has a plan for him, but at this time, life is so hard, we don't communicate or talk much because I am always so angry, tired and struggling in debt, I support him too - he gets nothing off the state now as they think him fit - but he struggles - spends his time online talking to people about their own issues, - it's hard, I have always been a single mother. I don't crave for a partner, it has never been a priority, Just wanted to be a good mother, work and provide for my ### and I got that wrong. This week I can't afford to go to work so have had to take the week off, I shouldn't have to do this. I had dreams for my ###, for myself, but nothing good ever happens to us, our life seems as though it has been stolen, and all remains is ashes and dust. I ask for your prayer please, because I am sinking and I do feel that I no longer want to be in this world. I feel I have failed my ### as a mother - being a strict mother when he was growing up, in regards to not allowing him to go out when he was younger seems to have had an opposite effect and now made him afraid of people - he would be better without me. Having struggled for so long - I have worked so hard since I was 15 - will be half a century old soon and nothing has changed for the better, can't do it anymore, too tired now.
