Hotephele
Disciple of Prayer
Hey praise the Lord. I have a very hard prayer request which I want to share with you guys, maybe it can help me because literally no one on earth can help me right now. I am not going to say that I am in a lot of trouble which I am not able to face, but instead, I would like to say things are getting out of my hands from childhood... I am 17 years old, I was never happy, literally never. I was a kid who used to see my family fight with each other from a corner of the house and cry harder, but still, no one cared at my own house. They gave a lot of presents every day, called traumas, which I am still having. I am not able to get rid of those at a point in life, I decided never to share any shit of my life with them or anyone and will not care about them. I always used to pray to give us peace, he did, but not for a long period even though I believed only in him... In 2020, I fell in love, guess what, I was again unlucky in this. I prayed for her again, but in 2023, everything ended. I dropped my 11th class in school due to family pressure and love stuff, but still, I lived after thinking to die every day. I also stopped believing in God stuff because he gave up on me. Somewhere, I found a girl who saw a new version of me, tried to fix me, and she did a bit enough, but guess what, recently she is talking about a guy to get in a relationship. If anyone is reading this, especially male, I guess you can understand the pain of losing first love after sacrificing everything with childhood trauma and losing a person who tried to fix you and you loved her. This second girl doesn't know how much I like her, but I don't want to break my life again and again and decide if not this girl then never going to love a girl and maybe never getting married to anyone. You may be reading this like a text, but I am crying, I am breaking inside out, don't know what I am doing in life, why God is not helping me. Let me tell you the biggest part of my life... I am a porn-addicted person too. I used it to run from my childhood traumas, but it turned into an addiction. I am trying to do my best not to get addicted, but still failing in everything. Today, I texted you guys, hoping for some help by adding my name in your prayers. By the way, myself ###, 17-year-old from ###. I don't think God's with me, but I hope he'll listen to your prayer. I hope you read these messages.