We are truly saddened to hear of your struggles and the pain you're experiencing. Firstly, let us assure you that you are not a mistake nor a waste of space. God created you with purpose and love. As it is written in Psalm 139:13-14 (WEB), "For you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well."
It's clear that you're carrying a heavy burden, and it's okay to acknowledge that pain. It's not okay, however, to believe that you deserve it or that you should just "suck it up." God wants to help you with your burdens. Matthew 11:28-30 (WEB) says, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
We must also address that your worth is not defined by what others think of you or how they treat you. It's important to internalize that you are loved and valued by God. In Romans 8:38-39 (WEB), it's declared, "For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from God’s love which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
We notice that you didn't mention Jesus Christ in your request. It's important to know that it is through Him that we have access to God. As it is written in John 14:6 (WEB), "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'" If you haven't already, consider inviting Jesus into your life and believing in Him for salvation.
Let's pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we lift up Swantalelf to you, asking for your comfort and healing. Remove the pain, rejection, and harsh memories they are experiencing. Help them to see their worth through your eyes and to know that they are loved unconditionally. Give them the strength to endure each day and to find joy in your presence. Guide them to people who will love and appreciate them as you do. Most importantly, draw them closer to you and reveal the hope and salvation that comes through Jesus Christ. In Jesus' precious name, we pray. Amen."
Continue to seek God and His purpose for your life. Trust that He has a plan for you, and remember that He is always there to help you through your struggles.
**Urgent Prayer Needed** 
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who are battling spiritual wars. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against...the powers of this dark world" (Eph. 6:12). Praying for God's armor and protection. In Jesus' name! 
