Help with intimacy in marriage

[Anonymous]

We had our first kid 10 months ago and all intimacy is gone. Anytime I have brought up intimacy, it turns into us fighting and her making me feel bad. She’s said “the thought of an orgasm makes me want to vomit”. I try to do everything financially for our family, be emotionally available for her, and strive to be the best husband/father that I can be. I have read other posts of men in similar situations and it absolutely guts me to think that this could go on for 5+ years let alone the 10 months. I have prayed to go many times about this; but, feel like no one is home or answering.

 

[Articles]

We understand that you're going through a challenging time in your marriage, and we want to assure you that God cares deeply about your situation. Firstly, we want to commend you for your commitment to your family and for striving to be a godly husband. It is clear to see your concern and frustration for your current marital circumstances. We are reminded by the Apostle Paul's instructions to husbands in Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her."(WEB) In Colossians 3:19, Paul also says, "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them." (WEB) . Your role, as well as hers, is to be more Christlike in the home.

In addressing the intimacy issue, it's important to remember that sexual intimacy is a vital part of marriage, designed by God to be enjoyed by both husband and wife. Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers." (WEB) However, it's crucial to approach this topic with sensitivity and understanding. Your wife's feelings may be influenced by hormonal changes, stress, or other factors, and she needs your support and patience. It's vital that both of you understand that her body is her own, and anything done to it has to be done with her permission and her joy in mind. She is free to say no at anytime, but she is also encouraged to consider the impact on your marriage and intimacy with you.

We also are aware of the fact that you are seeking help for this situation. We need to ask if you have prayed to Jesus about this? We know you said you have prayed to God, but the Bible is clear it is only by praying to Jesus Christ that we have access to God. Jesus said in John 14:6: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." (NKJV) Because of Jesus' substitutionary death, resurrection, and ascension, He is our only way to God. There is no other name by which we can be saved. Acts 4:12 says "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved!" (NKJV). We just want to make sure you know this fact. For a husband to simply pray to God as if God is hearing and answering is impossible without going through the name of Jesus Christ. It is OK to simply pray In Jesus Name or an abbreviation IJN.

One of the fruits of the Spirit is love. Unconditional love for one another is clear in the Bible: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25, NIV).

We encourage you to continue being emotionally available and supporting her in every way you can. However, it would be good to seek godly counseling if this is not also already occurring. This must be with a sound Christian counselor so that both of your needs can be addressed appropriately. Seek to really listen to her struggles and emotions. Finally, do not insist on intimacy, for it will be counter-productive to your purposes. It is one of the most important areas of mutuality in the marriage. It is clear that making love must be two sided, not forced, and in love to be enjoyed by both persons.

Let's pray together:

Dear Lord Jesus, we come before You, lifting up this marriage and the struggles they are facing. We pray that You would heal the intimacy issues they are experiencing, and draw them closer to each other. Help them to communicate openly and honestly, and to support each other in every way. We pray to the Lord God through the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We're here for you, brother. We understand that this is a sensitive and challenging situation, but we want you to know that God sees your heart and your efforts. It's commendable that you're seeking to be the best husband and father you can be. Let's keep praying and trusting in God's plan for your marriage.

We've been thinking about your wife's feelings. It's possible that she's dealing with more than just hormonal changes or stress. It might be helpful to encourage her to talk to a trusted female friend, a counselor, or even you about what she's feeling. Sometimes, just having a safe space to express her thoughts and emotions can make a big difference.

Remember, communication is key in any relationship. It's important to have open, honest, and respectful conversations about your feelings and needs. This doesn't mean you should pressure her into intimacy, but rather, express your love and desire for her in other ways. Show her that you're willing to wait and work through this together.

Let's keep praying for both of you. We ask that God would give you both patience, understanding, and wisdom. We pray that He would heal any underlying issues and restore the intimacy in your marriage. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.

God heal me. Deliver and cleansed me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ Jesus. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by Encourager Linda Flagg, M.A., Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

New Year's Prayer 2025

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Haverenald]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Eldoatoranmere]

We had our first kid 10 months ago and all intimacy is gone. Anytime I have brought up intimacy, it turns into us fighting and her making me feel bad. She’s said “the thought of an orgasm makes me want to vomit”. I try to do everything financially for our family, be emotionally available for her, and strive to be the best husband/father that I can be. I have read other posts of men in similar situations and it absolutely guts me to think that this could go on for 5+ years let alone the 10 months. I have prayed to go many times about this; but, feel like no one is home or

We had our first kid 10 months ago and all intimacy is gone. Anytime I have brought up intimacy, it turns into us fighting and her making me feel bad. She’s said “the thought of an orgasm makes me want to vomit”. I try to do everything financially for our family, be emotionally available for her, and strive to be the best husband/father that I can be. I have read other posts of men in similar situations and it absolutely guts me to think that this could go on for 5+ years let alone the 10 months. I have prayed to go many times about this; but, feel like no one is home or answering.

Just be patient with her. God has equipped you to love her through this hard time. Ask God to help you be patient while He works on her.
Then sit down with your wife and tell her that you understand she is going through some changes. Let her know that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you and that she is certainly worth the wait.
Find ways to make love to her heart, like take care of the baby some days you get home and send her off for personal time. Rub her feet. Send her messages from work telling her that you appreciate her. She will eventually come out of this funk, and when she does you better hydrate plenty buddy lol. Show this advice to a few trusted ladies and ask them if it's good advice or not. Blessings

 

[Cinu]

Lord, we pray for this prayer and family for blessings healing and salvation. Heal and bless. May their lives be a praise and glory unto thee.
Come to the Lord's holy presence. Seek him with all your heart. Cling to his Word and meditate on it moment by moment by positive thoughts and joy in the heart (James 1:2-4), knowing that the Lord is good and to him be all the praise. Seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness (Matthew 6:33). Even though life may feel hard, the Lord's hand will be on you, and he will answer in his time. I am praying for you. Amen.

Some resources that might help.

Needs: - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19(KJV)

Salvation: - So they said "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved you and your household." Acts 16:31(NKJV)

Healing: - But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5(NKJV)

Fulfillment by the Holy Spirit: - Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts. Zechariah 4:6(KJV)

Persecutions: - But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:27-28(KJV)

Help in Prayer

Dwelling and Thriving in God’s grace where everything happens for good (Romans 8:28)

Pray that the Lord may open the eyes of the nations affected by coronavirus (Specifically forces against God’s people)


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