Help Please

[Rose777]

Hello,

My family has pretty much always been dysfunctional, and abusive, I know families are not perfect, but I'm looking at this from a "functional" verses "not functional", perfect does not exist on this fallen world.

I have tried for many years to break free of the dynamic, but I discern that there are things beyond my vision that are contributing to the increase in abuse and dsyfunction.

Long story short...I have prayed for years and my friends, and church have been a great help--my husband is very supportive, but his family is just as bad--but much smaller.

Families are just falling apart around us, I hear about it all the time, and it is not my wish to divide...not for the wrong reasons anyway.

I'm at a point that my main concern is: I really do not want to displease God, at all.

I know our flesh and our hearts can be deceptive. All the information/observation in the world (about my family and how they treat me) just doesn't seem to be enough for me.

I am struggling with this, and I need someone to say---something to give me clarity. Like Gideon with his fleece, I just need something...that I know it's not me saying it....but God saying "here, this is the way, walk in it".

Yes I read my Bible daily...all the time and I find a lot of comfort there, and I pray, but I need prayer for more of a revelation about this.

I discern some things...but I want more clarity. And frankly, I know that the flesh wants to be offended...and bitter, and all that, and I resist that with all my being. I don't want that.

I think it would be best to separate myself, but anyone who has been in this situation knows that is easier said than done.

What I need is the tools, wisdom, love, and fortitude to resist them when they try to get a reaction out of me, and try to hurt me (sometimes not very subtle, sometimes it can be subtle).

Feelings can be deceptive, the heart is deceitful above all. I don't want to decieve myself into thinking I am doing the "Godly" thing, if it's not the Godly thing.

I also discern that many in my family are just....possibly completely evil, or being used by evil (though those two things might be the same). Though, I do not want to judge (wrongfully).

I desperately need someone to pray for me to have GODLY wisdom, LOVE, and to WAIT, and be patient. I need encouragement, and God's supernatural help to only say and do what is right.

I want God to expose the truth...even if it means I have to be humbled.

Of course I want mercy for myself so I would want mercy for my "enemies" (family) as well, but I am getting tired of being distracted by my family, and hurt a lot by them--a family should be a source of joy, support, and edification.

My family is not any of that, at all. They are a source of stress, hurt, and great frustration.

It's very hard for me, and I have tried my best and my husband had been a great help in showing me it's not my "perception" it's that they really are in the wrong, but they have yet to ever admit that.

Even when they were very clearly wrong, they just lie, or turn it on me.

I want the peace that surpasses all understanding, and to focus on what GOD has planned for me. Please. I am struggling to escape this mental trap.

If God could just inspire someone to pray over me whatever will expose the truth...and give me freedom from this evil situation. I did not ask to be born to these people...and I didn't give birth to them. I do love them, but I have two small children...and I am being emotionally harmed and it is making it take great effort to get through the day (sometimes).

I want to enjoy what God has given me (which is a LOT), and I know Satan is using family to try and rob me, that is what he does, afterall.

If I express any feeling to my family directly, or issues I am ignored, lied to, or beat down...it is sad, and it makes me sad. I don't want to be sad. I want to be joyful and share God with my kids. He has done great things for me. God is awesome. I want to make sure I am doing the right thing....I'm also hopeful God will answer my prayers as well...I am praying (and trying to remember to be grateful to Him--we must thank Him for both the bad and the good)...but I know that it helps to have others in agreement in prayer. I don't think any amount of talking to them will fix anything--at this point I think prayer is the only thing that will work--and it is powerful. And they will not recieve me. So they need someone who will be able to get through. I don't see that as being me, unless God reveals otherwise...in some way that will make it clear to me.

Please pray for me, and my family. Especially pray for me to stay in the love of God. Please pray for my protection and my family.

In the mighty name of Christ Jesus our wonderful Savior

 

[Articles]

We understand your struggle and commend you for seeking God's will in this difficult situation. It's crucial to remember that God is faithful, and He will guide you through this trial. Let's pray and seek His will together.

Firstly, let's address the spiritual warfare aspect you mentioned. The Bible tells us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12 WEB). Therefore, it is important to put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

Now, regarding your family situation, God's Word instructs us to honor our parents and live in peace with others as far as it depends on us (Exodus 20:12, Romans 12:18 WEB). However, it is also clear that if family members are causing harm and discord, we must take steps to protect ourselves and our loved ones. It is possible to love family members from a distance if that is what is necessary for safety and well-being. Remember that a bad tree cannot bear good fruit (Matthew 7:18 WEB), and if your family members are causing harm, it may be a sign that they need to address their own relationship with God.

It is commendable that you are concerned about pleasing God and not merely acting out of offense or bitterness. The Bible tells us that we should not repay evil for evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21 WEB). It is essential to remain humble and teachable, allowing God to reveal any areas where we might be in the wrong.

Let's pray together:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You today, lifting up our sister in Christ who is facing a difficult family situation. We ask for Your divine wisdom, love, and fortitude to guide her through this trial. Help her to discern Your will and to act according to Your purposes.

Lord, we pray for her family members, that You would soften their hearts and bring them to a place of repentance and salvation. We ask that You would expose any evil influences at work and bind the forces of darkness that seek to destroy.

Father, we also pray for her husband and children, that You would protect them and provide them with Your peace and joy during this time. Help her to be a shining example of Your love and grace to her family, even in the face of adversity.

Finally, Lord, we ask that You would give her the strength to forgive and to release any bitterness or offense. Help her to walk in love and to trust in Your sovereignty, knowing that You work all things together for good to those who love You and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28 WEB).

We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our wonderful Savior. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

Dear friend,

We hear your heart's cry and we're here for you. We understand the complexity of your family situation and the emotional toll it's taking on you. We want you to know that you're not alone in this. We're here to stand with you in prayer.

Firstly, we want to encourage you to keep seeking God's face in this matter. Your diligence in reading your Bible daily is commendable. Keep pressing in, for God's word is a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path (Psalm 119:105).

We believe that God is going to reveal more to you about this situation. He sees your heart's desire to please Him and not to act out of offense or bitterness. Trust that He will guide you and give you clarity, just as He did for Gideon with the fleece (Judges 6:36-40).

In the meantime, we urge you to be patient and wait on the Lord. It's not easy, we know, but God is faithful and He will not let you down (Lamentations 3:22). Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith (Hebrews 12:2).

We also want to remind you that God has given you tools to resist the schemes of the enemy. Put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18). Remember, our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12).

Lastly, we want to pray for you and your family. We ask that God would give you wisdom, love, and fortitude to navigate this situation. We pray that God would expose the truth, even if it means you have to be humbled. We ask for God's mercy, not just for you, but also for your family.

Let's pray together:

"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before you today on behalf of our sister. Lord, we ask for your divine wisdom, love, and fortitude to guide her through this trial. Help her to discern your will and to act according to your purposes. Lord, we pray for her family members. We ask that you would soften their hearts and bring them to a place of repentance and salvation. We ask that you would expose any evil influences at work and bind the forces of darkness that seek to destroy. Father, we also pray for her husband and children. We ask that you would protect them and provide them with your peace and joy during this time. Help her to be a shining example of your love and grace, even in the face of adversity. Finally, Lord, we ask that you would give her the strength to forgive and to release any bitterness or offense. Help her to walk in love and to trust in your sovereignty, knowing that you work all things together for good to those who love you and are called according to your purpose. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our wonderful Savior. Amen."

 

[Rose777]

We understand your struggle and commend you for seeking God's will in this difficult situation. It's crucial to remember that God is faithful, and He will guide you through this trial. Let's pray and seek His will together.

Firstly, let's address the spiritual warfare aspect you mentioned. The Bible tells us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12 WEB). Therefore, it is important to put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

Now, regarding your family situation, God's Word instructs us to honor our parents and live in peace with others as far as it depends on us (Exodus 20:12, Romans 12:18 WEB). However, it is also clear that if family members are causing harm and discord, we must take steps to protect ourselves and our loved ones. It is possible to love family members from a distance if that is what is necessary for safety and well-being. Remember that a bad tree cannot bear good fruit (Matthew 7:18 WEB), and if your family members are causing harm, it may be a sign that they need to address their own relationship with God.

It is commendable that you are concerned about pleasing God and not merely acting out of offense or bitterness. The Bible tells us that we should not repay evil for evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21 WEB). It is essential to remain humble and teachable, allowing God to reveal any areas where we might be in the wrong.

Let's pray together:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You today, lifting up our sister in Christ who is facing a difficult family situation. We ask for Your divine wisdom, love, and fortitude to guide her through this trial. Help her to discern Your will and to act according to Your purposes.

Lord, we pray for her family members, that You would soften their hearts and bring them to a place of repentance and salvation. We ask that You would expose any evil influences at work and bind the forces of darkness that seek to destroy.

Father, we also pray for her husband and children, that You would protect them and provide them with Your peace and joy during this time. Help her to be a shining example of Your love and grace to her family, even in the face of adversity.

Finally, Lord, we ask that You would give her the strength to forgive and to release any bitterness or offense. Help her to walk in love and to trust in Your sovereignty, knowing that You work all things together for good to those who love You and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28 WEB).

We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our wonderful Savior. Amen.

In Jesus' mighty name, amen.

May God bless you for your care, your prayer has deeply touched my heart...and I absolutely pray with all my heart our prayer will be favorably answered by our heavenly Father, who we know understands, thank you so much.

 

[Felic]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Rose777]

We believe that God is going to reveal more to you about this situation. He sees your heart's desire to please Him and not to act out of offense or bitterness. Trust that He will guide you and give you clarity, just as He did for Gideon with the fleece (Judges 6:36-40).

Amen, and amen, and amen to all you have said...you bring life to my heart.

Thank you to all. God is good. Even when our hearts are breaking...He is good.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.

God heal me. Deliver and cleansed me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ Jesus. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by Encourager Linda Flagg, M.A., Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

 

[Cinu]

Lord, we pray for this prayer and family for blessings healing and salvation. Heal and bless. May their lives be a praise and glory unto thee.
Come to the Lord's holy presence. Seek him with all your heart. Cling to his Word and meditate on it moment by moment by positive thoughts and joy in the heart (James 1:2-4), knowing that the Lord is good and to him be all the praise. Seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness (Matthew 6:33). Even though life may feel hard, the Lord's hand will be on you, and he will answer in his time. I am praying for you. Amen.

Some resources that might help.

Needs: - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19(KJV)

Salvation: - So they said "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved you and your household." Acts 16:31(NKJV)

Healing: - But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5(NKJV)

Fulfillment by the Holy Spirit: - Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts. Zechariah 4:6(KJV)

Persecutions: - But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:27-28(KJV)

Help in Prayer

Dwelling and Thriving in God’s grace where everything happens for good (Romans 8:28)

Pray that the Lord may open the eyes of the nations affected by coronavirus (Specifically forces against God’s people)


sermons

 

[Rose777]

Amen in Jesus Christ's mighty name

 

[Rose777]

God has been faithful and has given me confirmation with one of the things I have been praying for! Praise God for his protection.

Now the current issue is with family acting hurtful towards me. I have felt the Lord moving in my heart to distance myself from family-- I do not think they are good for me. However, for my own peace I would ask that it be revealed what evil, or what exactly is moving in my family to result in them treating me like they do. Very dismissive, neglectful, and they don't listen to what I say good, OR bad.

Basically, what I need to know--before the Christmas get together happens on the 25th...am I supposed to go? Does God want me to go to this family gathering?

Would you please pray to open my eyes to any mistakes I have made, and open my families eyes to actually see what they are doing?

If my family (husband and kids) decides to go to the family gathering, please pray that I can maintain my peace, and that the Lord would not leave my side--and that I would just feel his presence envelop me the entire time.

Please pray that God forgives my sins and has mercy on me, and proves His goodness IS inside me, I know HE is faithful, and I have healed from the past, but there has been more of the same hurtful behavior in my family, and they treat me with contempt and say things that make no sense, and treat me like I am the problem; rather than acknowledging any fault on their part.

I am so thankful for my husband, my kids, and my friends. I feel like I have built a beautiful life and home, and while I would love to share that...however; I have received more of the same from my family of origin, and my siblings...neglect, emotional outbursts...it has been this way since I was young. No one supported any of my endeavors, and while this is sad, I pray against any wrong way of thinking--I have forgiven, but I am struggling to reconcile because they all treat me the same, and that makes me believe that they have issues with me that they all agree on (though goodness knows what this could be).

I am starting to see that my family members seem to think they are never wrong. They do not apologize.

Even after screaming they hate me (for reasons that do not even make sense), they simply lied and refused to apologize, and turned it on me. At first even the other family member there tried to deny it happened (even after admitting it happened initially), but I stood firm, because it's not right for them to lie to avoid accountability.

It would have been nice to receive an apology and a hug, I do forgive, but I think Biblically I have a right to distance myself, though my family acts like I'm the one in the wrong for this, and they say, because our mom was abusive, my brother is not to blame. That makes no sense. We are adults. He has also been abusive since that event, so he clearly has not repented, rather he has justified himself, which is not my battle, but I don't feel wrong for distancing.

I am starting to no longer desire a relationship with them, they gang up on me, and I have even been told to cease talking about Jesus' return by one sibling, and have received some anger and derision for talking about Christ's return...and they attack me, they make fun of me and put me down....I am afraid they will do this again, as they have a few days ago done something that was very mean...but when I asked why they did this...they have completely ignored it.

If one person were mad at me, I would shrug, but this ganging up thing...I don't like it.

I know God is for me...by my flesh wants to react emotionally. I get sad and cry...or they just say mean things and I just feel so small by the time I leave. They can be really subtle about this...though the recent thing was...not subtle at all. But I feel they will turn it on me. It's so silly because I don't think that I am dramatic, but they often will team up and call me "overly sensitive", "theatrical" etc.

Like I said earlier I hear this voice--most likely a parental voice from when I was young that...I should just get over it, or that I'm taking it too personally.

How can it not be personal, with this situation? The Bible clearly instructs us to be loving, and they don't follow those guidelines at all. They do claim to be Christian. Also, if they have a grievance against me, I feel like they only share it with one-another, and I have snippets of proof of this, but they do lie to me, and though they may think they have fooled me but I don't confront them every time they lie.

Also, they lecture me, and insist I am the one with the problem....and in a sense I guess that is correct. I do not like how they treat me, overall it's not been good.

Basically, any pleas to explain have only resulted in my being attacked, or ignored. I do NOT Have a victim mentality. I see that they unite over disliking me, I have seen this in other circumstances, and did not see it that way for years. I discern that talking badly about me, and being "concerned" is what keeps them together...which really upsets me. My sister even said something like "...WE are concerned that..." and I realized my initial gut instinct was right (we were speaking one on one so the "we" would mean she discussed me with the "we".

Also, this same sister has said things my parents have said to her about me...and I tried very hard as a kid to be good and took on much more responsibility than I should have.

It really hurt to hear that's how my parents saw me...but I maintained my love and did forgive them, yet they seem incapable of extending genuine kindness to me?

Honestly, unless there is some kind of revelation that I have done or said something horrible, or that I am completely mis-reading this situation...I really want to just leave and pray that God moves us far away (though I will miss my friends) I no longer feel I even want a relationship with them after last night....it occurred to me that I have been resisting giving up on them, but now I am starting to see that maybe this rejection was for my protection.

I really desire confirmation on this. I thank God for the confirmation and protection for the other thing I had been praying for.

I also pray that if God deals out justice, that my heart does not rejoice in them being exposed, and that I would only feel like my father does in this situation. I have no desire to be humiliated and hurt--though that already happens regularly.

But I am willing to hear that I have a blind spot in all this...I really only see my side as incomplete, I don't know everything, of course..but I do not have malice or ill-intent when I share how their actions sometimes make me feel.

I have waited (somtimes years) to say anything, and given the benefit of the doubt....and I was very happy with my life, and they also have access to my number...but they still ignore all my good qualities, and the thing I was told I was "hated for" was something that happened when we were children, and it wasn't even something I did.

My sister would hit us, and somehow it was because I did not conduct myself correctly...but this was a parental failure. I still love my parents, but they made very big mistakes.

As a parent I have a lot of compassion for them, but I am determined to not make those same mistakes. God will help me, I know that. Rather than building me up they have actually in some instances tried to say I would fail as a parent... and I'm sorry my parents were bad sometimes, but that does not mean, I do not like them, or love them.

It's to God's glory that I forgive them, it shows His goodness in my life. When people deny the severity of what they have done (or deny doing it at all), that is denying love, because whomever is forgiven much, loves much. I know I am also forgiven for MUCH, and God uses that...it increases our love when we realize this.

I feel sometimes we cannot talk of things, because they feel like anything bad makes them bad, but we all have fallen short, and sometimes an apology or acknowledging bad things that happened can bring HEALING, it did for me. God literally reached into my heart and revealed how my childhood was very bad, and the child in me cried and forgave the neglect, and the yelling, and the violence, and that is a good thing and is something I don't think my siblings have done for themselves. It's not something I need to be personally involved with, they need to do this with the Lord.

And another thing that I discern but cannot be 100% on, is that my parents have wrongfully used me for years to blame for thier failures as parents, and I discern this based on things that have been said, and how my siblings treat me. I would like confirmation on this...I don't need God to reveal it to them, though that would be nice, so they would stop doing that, and I think that would bring lots of healing if only they just had a revelation with the Lord, I don't need to be involved in that process.

Long story short...If they will refuse to listen to God/the Holy Spirit, I will listen, and it would bring me peace to just KNOW exactly what is going on...so I could make Godly choice. I know this situation has the devil's handprints all over it, because it is confusing, but I know our GOD through Jesus will use it for good, be it discipline and growth for me...or them, or His mighty ability to use this for great good in a way I can't see.

Please pray for my heart, and if God does want me to continue, or if he want's me to distance...whatever he wants for me-- that I am gaurded by the TRUTH, and I can be wise as a serpent, yet gentle as a dove, and especially have a good reign on my tongue and I definitely as for the ability to detach in a Godly way.

I pray for clarity, wisdom, and revelation, in Jesus' mighty name, the name above every other name, and a great thank you for your time, thank you so much.