Amsost
Disciple of Prayer
Shalom shalom
Since December last year, I started to come back to Lord God and try becoming more closer to Him. During those times, I was happy and felt like my life is getting better.
But all went wrong after 2024. I was often tested with many challenges every MONTH, idk how to explain this but it feels so hurts because I cry a lot, feeling hopeless, feeling no one to talk to, feeling empty,it’s all mixed up confusion anxiety etc
Okay here what happened to me
January- I’m university student and want to join a mobility program in other country but ended up can’t go bcs of financial problems. And I have to pay large sum of money as compensation for rejecting the offer. Short story, this has been settled, I don’t need to pay for it, however tbh I have to lie a lotttt
February- I was supposed to finish my thesis but I can’t meet the deadline, and as the result I wasn’t able to graduate this year and go for internship. Which is I haven’t tell my parents about this until now.
March- since I knew I have to extend my studies, I feel like I have lots of time (bcs I already finished all the syllabus of studies) so I decided to look for part time job and going to audition, bcs I feel this is it I can do for now, as I’m losing my hope and this is all I got, this is all my last resort of plan and guess what all got rejected
April- I stayed at home doing nothing and my parents kept asking about my internship, did I got accepted or not, but I just cannot tell them (ps: my family always have financial issues so I can’t bear to tell them the truth and getting disappointed by me), was supposed to come back to campus bcs I have to join for Christian youth camp but I didn’t get the dormitory and how can I go back to there
So this is short brief of what happened to me. All of this I was praying to God to help me, but I feel so helpless. I have no one to talk to. I feel like all people are against me. Feel like I’m stuck. They always said “come and talk to us, we willing to help”. I was asking for help but no one help me. I was trying to get better but how can I when everyone else around me is not allowing me to do so? Is it a way for Him to punish me?
I am already so miserable, I don’t want to think about sui**** anymore but this world just too cruel for me
plssss I just want to get better pls play for me
May God be always with you all AMEN
Since December last year, I started to come back to Lord God and try becoming more closer to Him. During those times, I was happy and felt like my life is getting better.
But all went wrong after 2024. I was often tested with many challenges every MONTH, idk how to explain this but it feels so hurts because I cry a lot, feeling hopeless, feeling no one to talk to, feeling empty,it’s all mixed up confusion anxiety etc
Okay here what happened to me
January- I’m university student and want to join a mobility program in other country but ended up can’t go bcs of financial problems. And I have to pay large sum of money as compensation for rejecting the offer. Short story, this has been settled, I don’t need to pay for it, however tbh I have to lie a lotttt
February- I was supposed to finish my thesis but I can’t meet the deadline, and as the result I wasn’t able to graduate this year and go for internship. Which is I haven’t tell my parents about this until now.
March- since I knew I have to extend my studies, I feel like I have lots of time (bcs I already finished all the syllabus of studies) so I decided to look for part time job and going to audition, bcs I feel this is it I can do for now, as I’m losing my hope and this is all I got, this is all my last resort of plan and guess what all got rejected
April- I stayed at home doing nothing and my parents kept asking about my internship, did I got accepted or not, but I just cannot tell them (ps: my family always have financial issues so I can’t bear to tell them the truth and getting disappointed by me), was supposed to come back to campus bcs I have to join for Christian youth camp but I didn’t get the dormitory and how can I go back to there
So this is short brief of what happened to me. All of this I was praying to God to help me, but I feel so helpless. I have no one to talk to. I feel like all people are against me. Feel like I’m stuck. They always said “come and talk to us, we willing to help”. I was asking for help but no one help me. I was trying to get better but how can I when everyone else around me is not allowing me to do so? Is it a way for Him to punish me?
I am already so miserable, I don’t want to think about sui**** anymore but this world just too cruel for me
plssss I just want to get better pls play for me
May God be always with you all AMEN