Anonymous
Beloved of All
Help me Lord. Save me from what you didn’t bring. I’m sitting here In Tears of all the hurt I’ve been through in the last year and 5 months. Words are not equal long actions and my feelings are uncared for. Anytime I say how my feelings are hurt, it’s always my fault and I shouldn’t feel that way. I know Lord all this time these moments of hurt and pain, you were showing things I didn’t want to believe and I was listening to the one I wanted to believe instead of seeing clearly. I wish he loved me enough to not want to do things to hurt me, I wish would put me above his ex. I sit here and flash back to all the moments that I should have known better. His words mean nothing when his actions prove where his heart still is and no matter how much he says he loves me and he never get back with his feelings c, his actions show that his heart is still in her hands. I’m finally getting to where I’m done. I’m tired of crying I’m tired of hurting. I’ve prayed he would realize what he is doing is wrong. I’ve prayed that he would let me be free to have what I deserve, but he won’t let go and I feel stuck. I ask him to stop living like him and his ex are still a family but he continues to say he is not doing anything and if she wants to send family group messages she can and if she wants to call and text him she can. I told him I read how he asked her on Valentine’s Day to bring him to the airport because I couldn’t and he said he was joking. It’s not a joke it’s flirting. I watched for graduation party for his daughter them flirting and he refuses that too. I’m 40 and I’ve never been married and I have two kids and my oldest has never had a father in her life. I’ve completely failed her in life. In the beginning this man was amazing, he did anything for us. I convinced him it was wrong to hate his ex wife and just to be nice and I didn’t realize he still had deep feelings for her. He says he doesn’t but his actions always on her side. He does things for her I ask him not to and he says his son ask him. He has an excuse for everytime he talks to her that it’s for his kids who are 18 and 22. It’s things he doesn’t need to talk with her about. I’m hurt I watched him twice agree with his ex wife that he wasn’t happy with me. I hear him talk about her in conversations with others. He even brings her up when we do things and it reminds him of her. I never hear him talk about us or how proud he is of me. 3 and a half years and I only got a good year and half out of him then when they started talking it’s never been the same. I used to thank God for bringing him in my life. But the day he started talking to his ex it all went day he changed and he argues he hasn’t . He tells me he would never be with her but deep down he still continues to love her and respect her over our relationship. I know it’s not fair to me and I need to make peace with it and let him go. But it is so hard and I feel stuck. I need help. Please help me, I’m tired of waking up every morning crying , every single morning. I can’t lie to myself for him. What I see is what’s really going on. My heart wants someone to o protect it and love it and cherish it. He doesn’t protect my heart nor care for it. Please Lord I sit here thinking what if my child was going through this and it would break my heart for her to go through life with a man who couldn’t give her the love she deserved. I’m begging you to help me in any way that you can because I can’t do it alone. Please Lord.
**Urgent Prayer Needed!** 
**Prayer Updates:**
**Anonymous** seeks travel peace & blessings.
Let's lift up 
Jesus is listening.
