Anonymous
Beloved of All
Hello, I don’t know where to start, other than to say that I am depressed and losing hope for any kind of happiness. My entire life I have always been there for others and while I am not perfect, I am a good person who has made it a point to be there for others. I expect nothing in return, but I have hoped that at some point that I would have personal happiness, yet it never happens. I feel like I will leave this earth with never getting married, being able to say “my husband.” My greatest dream is to meet my person and to have my mother and I have the experience of going wedding dress shopping and all of the things that go with getting married. I have gotten good at faking being happy because I don’t want my family to worry that I am lonely. I loved a man who I believed was my person and you couldn’t tell me he didn’t love me. However, he cheated with a woman 17 years younger and she called him 4 months later to say she was pregnant. She threatened to make it difficult for him to see his child (she called and told me that to) if he didn’t choose to be with her. He married her two months later. That was 6 years ago and I am still hurting. My fear is that I will never experience the joy of marriage or even just finding my person. Sometimes I tell myself just to be with whoever wants to be with me, regardless of whether I like or love them, just so I don’t end up alone. I look and see people who have done bad things intentionally and yet they seem to always get everything. But I have lived a life trying to be good to others and I never have my prayers answered. I see why people get to a point of suicide and I am embarrassed to say I feel that. I stopped hoping and praying because my dreams never happen. I just fake happiness now, so others don’t see my pain. It makes me wonder why God created me to suffer or why only some people get to be happy but not all. It feels like God thought that suffering only pertains to people with disease/illness but didn’t understand that loneliness and depression can be damaging as well, because sometimes if the loneliness is so bad, it can cause a person to want to end their life. I hang on by a thread and mostly because I know my family would be devastated. All of this is the long way of asking for your prayers for my happiness, that I meet my husband soon, that I have a full life, that I find and purchase my dream home, that I get an even better career opportunity that brings me joy, and that my mom and I get to go shopping for that wedding dress. I pray that loneliness doesn’t steal my joy forever. Thank you for any prayers you might pray for me.
Hello everyone! Let's lift up @RoshanDsouza who's facing financial debt, and 
Jesus is listening.
