Othaireurron
Prayer Warrior
I pray for my health to get better I was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago I’ve been in and out of mental hospitals ever since I haven’t been myself I’ve been checking myself into mental hospitals because of the discomfort I felt at home around my mother my brother and the guy upstairs I pray for protection I read my Bible I listen to gospel music I go to church and still nothing is changing he’s spiritually attacking me I can feel him trying to make me not feel my nerves inside of my body it’s like he wants me to suffer I don’t know what I did to this man we used to talk all the time but ever since I came back from staying with my aunt I could sense he didn’t want me staying here at home he would walk over my head but walk in a opposite direction I felt like someone was playing tricks on me me and my cousin used to argue and fight all the time she would step on my toes and bump me she would walk really close to me that scared me she would say excuse me as if I was inside of her way but I wasn’t and I would tell her she could walk past me I was a few inches away from her and she would still find a way to come close near me even when I would be asleep I would see her staring at my feet I felt like she was listening to me listen to music when I would be inside of the room it made me very sad and depressed and I just wanted to leave that house I didn’t want to stay there but I didn’t want to stay at home with my brother and my mother neither I’m not a loud woman I like my privacy so I can learn and wind down relax and be myself but I was living with other people who didn’t respect that that bothered me I want to grow and become a better woman I don’t want to still stay inside of the same house that I live in I feel as if the man upstairs is attacking me spiritually emotionally and physically whenever he start making noise I just would usually eat a lot and run and straight towards the kitchen and it’s like he would follow me over towards the kitchen as well I gained a lot of weight eating at the hospitals I was at I would eat everything I didn’t want to starve but I was eating snacks just eating normally I feel like with sleep and me being depressed and taking the medication that they had gave me caused me to gain weight I feel like they had wanted me to gain weight I was skinny before now I’m thicker I pray that I can lose weight so I can run again and walk fast and just smile and be happy it’s like I’m letting these men upset me even the man next door I don’t like that they listen to the tv next door and they play it very loud and I could hear it through the walls I can feel a man following my head when I walk and even when I talk turn my face turn around he’s right there behind me doing things to intimidate me through the walls and it scares me sometimes it really do I hate living here my mother sleeps inside of the other room I feel very different sleeping inside of this apartment with this man and I want to heal and get back to myself I’m mad at myself for saying something bad about my mothers bf and her for how they would treat me he didn’t like me I felt he was against me I couldn’t stand this man I hated him and I wanted him to die because I felt like he was lying on me to my mother saying I was dropping things behind his back trying to turn my brother against me I just didn’t like him or want him inside the house he was not supposed to be here only my family was and he wasn’t apart of the family he tried to act like he was my dad and I only have one dad and he suffers from mental Illness he’s not himself he went through something when I was younger and he’s better now but that’s the only man that I would treat call and act as if he was my dad I pray that I can forgive myself for being mean but I felt like it was my mother fault for bringing him into the house she didn’t have no respect or empathy for me I didn’t have my own room neither and she just bought a random guy to live with us he started fixing breakfast putting his outfits together and doing things around the house all that stuff bothered me I hated this man and wanted him dead I couldn’t stand him I wanted him to leave the apartment I felt like he lied on me because he wanted me to like him but I just couldn’t get myself to like him he was evil and mean and him cooking inside of the house drove me crazy I would leave him and my mother would take over the entire house he would listen to her it’s like she lost herself over this man and I was the one who got her to get up with him by making her an instagram and having them two hit it off and she would ignore me then that really bothered me she was acting different then I felt as if she liked my ex bf she would always talk about him I couldn’t stand her I just pray for healing and that I get back to myself and that I start to take better care Of myself I pray to not fib or lie so much there’s men who actually want to date me or who are interested and it’s like I’m still hurting from my past I pray to heal and get back to myself I pray for my eyes to heal I feel like the guy upstairs attacked my eyes a few years ago maybe two years ago and I haven’t been like myself I want my eyes to heal and for my eyes to go back to normal I miss how my eyes used To be I pray for my entire face to heal and to go back to normal the guy next door spiritually attacked me He got mad at me because I turned around and looked at the wall it’s like he didn’t want me to look at the wall so he did something to my face these things he’s doing are really bothering me I been Laying down in bed all day I been feeling down ever my menstrual just went off I pray for healing and that I get back to myself I just want to be healthy happy and comfortable but I know because I wanted this man dead this is my bad karma for wanting him dead but then again I feel as if God doesn’t want me to doubt or be sad or depressed he loves me I pray for healing I pray for a new home I pray for a business that I can start of my own