Othaireurron
Prayer Warrior
I pray for great health I pray for a new home I pray for a new job I pray for my health to be better so that I can work and make money and provide for myself and be able to have things my grandmother used to buy things for me and my aunt when I had stayed at her place she would buy me food I pray that I can have my own stable Income coming in so other People won’t have to always provide for me I pray for a new home so I can relax and be at peace watching tv listening to music and just doing My own thing reading the Bible I pray that I’m able to do those things I try to do them now but I don’t feel right I feel unhuman as if I’m suffering sometimes I feel as if it’s hard for me to remember things I pray for my mind to heal I pray for better days I know that you can’t befriend everybody not all folks are good people me and my brother used to argue and fight all the time he was very toxic he would call me names he even went to get a restraining order out on me me and my mother we get along but I feel as if she want me to stay feeling depressed or as if I have a disease or as if my mind not right Like I can’t get back to myself I pray that God forgives me from all of my past sins and heals me I can be forgiven my mother used to say I depressed a lot she would tell the administrator that I was depressed so she went to buy me candles and started having this energy towards me as if I really was depressed and I wasn’t I hated it she did all the paperwork for me and didn’t tell me anything I pray to get back to myself and heal and become a better person I feared a lot of people and would think the worst of people people go through things that ain’t none of my business though I do have to use discernment and be able to stand up for myself and protect myself it’s like I had Let myself go and started to act crazy I wasn’t acting like myself I would travel to towns far away with no money or no food I would fear the people I was anxious I would ask folks how I look one lady told me I looked like I had a mental illness or I looked stressed I just pray to get back to myself and heal I pray for brighter days I went around asking people how I look and certain folks would respond and say I look okay another lady saw me sitting by the bus stop with a bag and had asked me was I homeless a guy tried to say come with him when I was sitting at the bus stop just sitting there it was bad I felt unlike myself I used to speak with myself a lot and I would be upset if people would come close towards me I don’t want nobody getting too close towards me I just pray for healing and that I get back to myself I pray to not ask anyone how I look no more being self conscious and insecure of my looks I felt guilty For what I had said of my mothers bf and I haven’t been the same since I used to dress wearing jeans and sneakers I never really would be dressed up I didn’t look well at all I felt as if the doctor the gynecologist that I went to knew that something was off with me when I went there the first time I was ok and he was wanting me to speak and open up the second time I went there he was talking to me as if I was crazy he was rushing me to take my clothes off I was taking them off but I felt grossed and freaked out I told him I felt like their was something going on with my private area he told me to see a neurologist it’s like he didn’t care he didn’t ask me what kind of pain or anything my body felt weird very strange and I hated myself a lot I would walk up and down the block a lot that would stress me out I didn’t have a job no friends or anywhere to go so I started going to the park almost everyday my mother had told me I was getting darker and the psychic told me that my brother was worried and trying to figure out where I was going I know I should not have went to one but I was all over the place and wouldn’t tell anyone I know my mother thinks the worst of me I feel like she was upset about some of the things I had done I didn’t like that I had done them I was stressed out and not myself I felt like people were getting the best of me I let my neighbors bother me and stress me out I used to get stares from people inside of this building they used to just stare at me I still feel like I’m under attack by the building something happened to me when I was inside the building I was opening the exit door and when I opened it I felt pain all up and down my body my mind my hands my private area it’s like my body had given up on me and wanted to come to an end I pray for better days I pray for healing even when I would touch things my arms would feel dangly it’s like the nerves inside of my body felt off I didn’t like that that was happening to me I felt like my brother used to do things when I would turn around he had stepped when I was walking and I had my back turned and I never did anything towards him to act that way he saw me standing by the bus stop or driving pass in a vehicle he would just stare he wouldn’t speak I felt as if my hands my vagina everything felt weird around this guy I would lock myself inside of a room because of him he scared me and he would try to tell me to wait to go inside the kitchen until he finish he would take his time everyday and I would be inside of the room I wouldn’t come out it was very bad I would hear him coming inside of the house and I would toss over and try to position myself into a position where I wouldn’t be able to face him he was stressing me out and when I had gotten my hair done by his gf I had my eyes closed he was staring at me the entire time I couldn’t close my eyes then he called me crazy when I had walked past him in the park and he told me to not speak with him he would hang out with his other friends that had issues at the park a lot of them had issues it would be a lot of bums inside the park he saw me standing outside and he didn’t open up the door for me and had me walking back and forth outside I couldn’t stand him I felt trapped hopeless as if I probably was what he said I was my confidence went down I was arguing and fighting with people at work it was very bad I was allowing this one man to make me feel some type of way at work he was rude to me he asked me for money and never paid me back but when I see him he do speak he always say hi I pray for my self esteem to be up again I pray to heal from depression anxiety schizophrenia suicidal thoughts and heal from being afraid especially of people from my childhood who used to pick on me because my skin was darker than theirs I feel scared to run into them if I see them I saw one of the girls she just looked at me with her guy friend and didn’t speak or say hi I pray to heal and be confident and be strong people hated on me and told on me when I would do things I was surrounded by a bunch of people who was envious or jealous of me I didn’t like people their was one lil girl I used to argue with all of the time she would curse at me another girl who was supposed to be my friend kept trying to argue and fight with me people was crazy she would try to fight with me because I said something she got mad at me one time and started flipping desks and the teacher had to remove every one from the classroom and her twin sister came out just looking I didn’t trust them they even bullied my friend and made him transfer he ended up going to another school that was crazy that’s why I stay away from folks I pray that I get back to myself and learn to heal and be able to smile and take care of myself I let a lot of people mistreat me I let my friend bf throw money at me when I was working on the register he just threw the money down he didn’t speak to me or anything I just pray that I get back to myself and that I heal I pray for brighter days I pray for healing when the man had thrown the money down his friend gf corrected him and put the money in my hand but I used to feel funny vibes about her I felt like she was iffy of me I felt as if she didn’t really like me she would be nicer to me sometimes she would compliment me all the time she wasn’t that bad but I thought she would speak to me more when she started working with me but she didn’t I pray that I’m able to take better care of my health and my body and keep myself clean and stop worrying about people if their good people or not I was stressed out I was surrounded by the wrong people I was wearing sweatpants all the time and wearing my hair in a ponytail worrying about people me and my mother would argue and fight all the time I was wearing sneakers that was too tight I was traveling to different towns traveling way too far and I felt like I still wasn’t happy some of the women inside of the other town would piss me off when I would walk I would see women making faces at me I saw a lady walk and when I was walking it’s like she was thinking of something and when I got closer she looked mad she barely made eye contact it’s like if I slowed down she would slow down a couple of women were like that even when I was working at a grocery store not too far from my house a lady grabbed the bag and boiled her fist up at me like she was going to hit me something was off with her I think it was a Muslim lady I just pray for strength and healing and to be able to defend myself I let people say anything towards me I was depressed I had told one of the supervisors at the job that I was moving and he said okay I just didn’t want to work there anymore they used to sit by the front and talk about me the Muslim man treated me well because my dad is a Muslim and I have a Muslim last name and he always told me to take my time the other guy that I had worked for at the farmers market had told me to take my time to I was rushing I was worried and thinking of how much I wanted to be somewhere else I didn’t like working and seeing people come in dressed up I like clothes and fashion so seeing people come in to the store dressed up bothered me I was intimidated by good looking people and I felt worried and stressed out I pray for my confidence to rise and for my self esteem to rise as well I pray for strength and for healing I pray for brighter days I pray to love myself again and to forgive myself from past mistakes I pray for a new home I pray for a new car I pray for my breathing my speech my nose my ears my legs my neck my back my feet everything I pray that it heals and go back to normal please help me and please ask God to protect me and to be with me I pray for healing I pray to find a good church that I can go to and worship the lord I felt ok with going to church a few years ago now I need to find a new one I pray for better days I pray for healing I pray to get back to myself I pray for happiness I pray for protection from the man upstairs he was attacking my arms my legs my toes and my teeth my teeth aren’t the same I don’t even look like myself no more I pray for healing and to get my looks back I fear of going to the bathroom because he’s always right there but above inside of his house but it’s as if he’s right in front of me waiting for me to wipe I can feel it when I’m going to the bathroom and when I’m done using the bathroom he would run over towards the sink I pray to heal and to get back to myself I pray that I heal and get better so these people can stop keep tabs on me I hate it I feel sad depressed as if I ruined myself and my body my self esteem my confidence I just turned 30 I pray that the mental illness can come off of my medical records I know I chosen to check myself inside of the mental hospital but I don’t want them to know my every move I did good things in my life and succeeded I just want to be happy and healthy I want to get back to myself I pray that my hair grows back nice and healthy I pray that my skin clears up and that my teeth grow back I pray for my dad to heal from mental illness