Othaireurron
Prayer Warrior
I pray for great health I pray for a new home I pray for a new job I pray for a new car I pray for a new iPhone I pray for my teeth to grow back I pray to be healed from mild scoliosis I pray that I stop being timid of my shadow whenever I turn around it’s as if I’m running from my shadow and when I see shadows of things my skin starts to crawl I also gained weight on the medicine I was taking when I went to the hospital I got diagnosed with schizophrenia since then I haven’t really been myself I pray for healing I feel like I should of worked and got a job instead of telling people my problems I felt like my cousin was making me anxious I used to travel far trying to visit doctors and trying to get better I don’t have good insurance and I don’t work or have a job I pray for better so that I can get myself together I pray for healing I pray to heal from my past I pray for forgiveness from all of my past sins I pray to heal from low self esteem from anxiety and depression from suicidal thoughts I pray to be healthy and happy I want to be free and I want to be happy I want to sing again I want my voice to come back I have amazing vocals but I never used my talent I felt like people wouldn’t accept me I felt as if my mother would not support me she would always tear me down she told people for years that I was depressed I had a reason to be sad my ex bf almost got life in prison I was only a teenager when this happened and it made me so sad and depressed he was all over the news people were interviewing me I didn’t want to be interviewed it was awful I pray for better days I pray to forgive myself for wishing death on my mother and her bf he passed away I tried to help him but he didn’t make it me and my mother performed cpr on him I felt as if I should have been got away from her and her bf she had moved him inside the house without saying anything to me about it and I’m a girl I didn’t know him that well I slept on the living room floor I didn’t have my own room he would make breakfast out in the opening I couldn’t stand him and wanted him out of the house I kind of should of just prayed about it but I didn’t have God in my life at the time I used to walk around everywhere a lot I stayed outside catching buses around town everywhere it was bad I hated it my neighborhood used to upset me I wanted to get away from it then you had toxic people who was jealous I was standing at the bus stop and some lady was mad that I was came and started waiting for the bus because her bf was at the bus stop and he was staring at me he was older then me I don’t want that man then my me and my brother was arguing and fighting daily it was bad he got a restraining order on me before I prayed to God to have it be removed and he removed it that should of been my time to head out of the house and distance myself because I couldn’t trust him he was tripping it was always some kind of drama with this family my grandmother used to stir things up I didn’t like her I felt like she never liked me and would think bad things about me and never had a clue of the things that I used to go through I pray for healing and that I get back to myself I pray for my body to heal so I can be happy and healthy I want to dance again I been dancing at home for years I don’t dance anymore I don’t watch tv anymore it’s like I let myself go I started walking around a lot asking neighbors for money speaking to people standing downstairs by the hallway it was bad I feel as if one of my neighbors don’t like me I was standing downstairs with him and I started talking to him asking him questions he was wondering of me I felt that I felt as if he thought I was crazy even when I was at the park I started talking to a Caucasian girl and she was looking at me like I was crazy I pray to get myself together I never used to do things like that not saying it’s a bad thing to speak towards people but I always was beautiful I let myself go a couple of years ago I was stressed out I used to travel a lot and catch buses to the parks but I would always catch a bus back I felt like the park was not a place for me to be especially alone just going there to go I pray for better days I pray for healing I pray that I’m able to love myself and able to take better care of myself I pray for a job so I could go shopping and buy whatever I want I been wearing the same clothes for years I was wearing my mother clothes she used to be upset I didn’t have money or clothes to wear I felt as if all of my clothes were depressing even the sneakers I wore my feet had gotten bigger I pray that they go back down to my normal size I used to have beautiful feet I miss the shoe size that I used to wear I miss the person that I used to be I was depressed because of social media and fake friends I was hanging out all the time with people I was unhappy I didn’t want to be hanging out with them I just pray for better days I pray for strength and healing I pray for my health to be better I pray for a new car my mother never taught me how to drive she let her bf drive her truck before me and I felt as if I been asking her if I could drive her truck she told me that she was going to give me her old truck and never did she told me that I was doing things the opposite way I went with her to get her new truck and she barely said anything to me at first she didn’t want to walk with me to get food then me and her was taking pictures I just felt unlike myself and I wanted better for myself I hated being around her she would leave me sometimes and drop me off at stores me and her would even get into arguments when she would come to pick me up from work I could be having a good day then she would start arguing when she come inside the house she always have something negative to say she asked me If my feet was hard when I had no socks on I didn’t know why she would ask me that or say that towards me I have flat feet and when I walk sometimes it hurts and I don’t feel comfortable I don’t feel much things when I walk I feel like I’m walking on the ground wherever I walk it don’t feel comfortable I pray to forgive myself for wearing Nike sneakers that were too big but tight at the same time they made my feet grow they had gotten bigger and then the nerves in my feet were being crushed I felt like the sole or the fabric around my feet near my ankles all Of that was being bruised and damaged it affected my entire body probably everything started changing I pray to take better care of my body and my health and not to allow myself to suffer Or do any damage towards myself I pray to not allow myself To be affected by anyone I pray for peace love and happiness I pray for brighter days I pray for healing I pray for strength and protection I pray for forgiveness from all of my past sins I pray to start dressing like myself again and to start being aware of what I throw on or put on I used to just wear anything and be ok with that I felt sad depressed I was wearing sneakers and sweatpants all the time I don’t have nice clothes inside of my bedroom I wear my mother clothes if I have to go out somewhere and me and her don’t wear the same size I pray for my health to be better so I can start working out too and getting fit and taking care of my body and my health I pray to be happy again and start talking to people again and forgiving them I was always sleepy and tired especially when I would be with the guy I felt like all I want to do is sleep I went to a hospital in ny and I felt like they messed my sleep pattern up I don’t feel normal or like myself I felt like it made my body feel different and not in a good way they gave me an injection because I wouldn’t go to sleep I wasn’t tired it’s like they didn’t want me to be up so they just poked me with an Injection and made me go to sleep and one of the nurses or the doctor tried to make me answer questions so that I can agree with him even when he wasn’t being truthful and I saw one of the nurses look at me and shake her head when he was asking me questions as if she wanted me not to agree with him I don’t want the government or the system to have control over me I want to be healthy spiritually mentally physically emotionally I don’t want to take medication or be on an injection anymore I don’t want that for myself it does damage to the body and it’s not natural it either cause side effects or extreme Other emotions I pray that I get back to myself and stop making choices that aren’t good for myself I was checking myself into mental hospitals I was dating guys who would just walk up to me without me liking them first I was spending time with folks I didn’t like or know that well I was getting into random strangers vehicles it was bad I don’t want to ever do that again I want to grow and get back to myself I would hang around town with folks getting drunk hanging outside that’s not me I should have never been doing those things I would rather be home working out or healing reading dancing singing or watching tv or hanging out with family and some friends or acquaintance I pray that I can forgive myself for changing when I was in high school I told myself that I was popular and I became Popular but I didn’t feel right or feel like myself I felt like I tried hard to fit in not really because I always had friends and knew people but I felt like I always was smart and I kind of drifted away from being the smart girl I was angry a lot and failing my history class I was barely passing Spanish I honestly almost didn’t graduate it was awful I pray to heal from being that way and learn to better myself and better my health I pray for a clearer mind where I don’t get distracted by the enemy or things that I can’t change and focus on brighter days focus on growing maturing and being a better version of myself allow myself to be me and no one else I pray for my teeth to grow back I pray to heal from mild scoliosis I pray to heal from flat feet I pray for my hands to heal and my body nerves to heal as well and I pray that I stop speaking with people about everything and learn to trust in God and just be a better person there’s a lot of people who knew I was going through things and was worried of my mental health I would run away from my problems a lot and talk to them with people when I did that it’s like my problems got worse now I just want to talk to God and let him fix everything and work it all out for me and better me I pray for a family one day and a husband I pray for my mind to heal for my skin to heal for my body to heal