Othaireurron
Prayer Warrior
I pray for my health to be better I feel like my nerves all over the place when I go to the bathroom it’s like my urine comes out to the side of my leg and it goes behind my legs I pray for my health to be better so I can be at peace I pray for better days I pray for healing I pray for forgiveness from all of my past sins I pray for my own home so I can provide for myself and be comfortable watching my tv shows inside of my very own apartment I pray to heal from walking all around town to different towns catching buses to travel towards the hospital it was bad I pray for healing I went to an urgent care and they thought I was on drugs so they requested for the hospital to come pick me up I stayed inside of the hospital voluntarily then I sent to another hospital and stayed There for almost a month I wasn’t myself and I felt like something was wrong with me I wasn’t showering I felt like I smelled urine whenever I would go to the bathroom my body odor was bad I felt sick I felt as if the Hispanic guy who lived inside of my building didn’t like me I didn’t feel like myself I wanted to commit suicide and kill myself I felt as if everyday things were a struggle I don’t brush my teeth everyday I feel as if people are listening to me through the walls I can feel a person from upstairs walking around above me and when I go to grab things I sense that something bad is going to happen towards me I would in the back of the bus all the time I was angry I would sit at parks a lot I wasn’t taking care of myself I didn’t like my house and was deciding to be homeless and to sit at the masjid because it’s open everyday but I wouldn’t have a place to sleep I felt bad for myself it was terrible I didn’t like my body I felt as if the medication they Prescribed me made me gain weight the doctor told me I was overweight it was the medication ever since they put me on a pill I kept eating when I was inside the hospital there’s not really much to do but eat watch tv and talk towards people I stayed inside of my room a lot I was very sad depressed I felt as if every person was healthier than me and better than me I didn’t want to wake up I would fear the things that would come about during the day I didn’t want to wake up to have my temperature checked every morning it was awful and eating breakfast with a bunch of people who I didn’t even know and I was so far away from home the guy I’m dating was worried about me I never told him that I was hospitalized due to schizophrenia that’s what they diagnosed me with I was not paranoid but I was scared a lot scared of a lot of things worrying myself worried of my cousin she would stare at me from the kitchen a lot and I could sense her staring at me and when I would look her way she would drop things it made me very uncomfortable she had issues she was dealing with for years I checked myself inside of a hospital a couple of times but because I felt terrible at home I wanted to stay with my aunt but I couldn’t heal there I felt worst I was running from my mother I felt bad I felt like people knew I wasn’t myself I wasn’t taking care of myself and was allowing people to stress me out it was very bad I want to heal and get back to myself I want to eat healthier foods workout and take better care of myself I want to sing and dance again and just relax and start doing things that I love to do again I like to read and do crossword puzzles as well I just felt sad as if I didn’t want to do those things anymore I would allow people in the world to intimidate me and stress me out I pray for better days I pray for a job I applied for a job at Whole Foods I pray that I get the job and I pray that they pay me well I worked plenty of jobs and quit them it was terrible I felt as if I couldn’t hold down a job either the pay wasn’t that much my check made me unhappy I couldn’t do much I wanted to be able to buy nice things for myself and be able to have money left over so I could feel okay I pray for a new car I pray for a new iPhone I Pray to be healed from mild scoliosis I pray for my body to heal I change my clothes a lot because I don’t sit down on the toilet I feel as if the guy upstairs be playing with the knob and keeps flushing the toilet from upstairs and when I sit down I feel as if he would flush it like he’s listening to me use the bathroom even when I would take a shower or bath I could feel him walking around above me dropping things and making loud noises I never used to hear noises that loud inside of the apartment before I feel as if he’s doing it on spite making a bunch of noise just to throw me off and aggravate me it would wake me up every morning I would hear it coming from the ceiling he would listen to me when I would be in the bed it’s like my brother and my mother barely move when they hear noise my brother wouldn’t make noise he would be asleep and I would hear noise inside of his room when he would be asleep it was disturbing the house felt haunted I didn’t like it I want to move away from this house and have my own place inside Of a better area I pray for my own home so I can talk to God more often and have a better relationship with him I pray for my life to change for the better I feel like right now I haven’t changed at all I was out of work for almost two years I didn’t want To work in retail my paycheck wasn’t enough and I wanted to make more money I pray for strength and healing I pray that I lose weight I gained a lot of weight I had issues walking I would always be tired whenever I’d walk my nerves just felt bad I felt like the nerves in my face was awful my face twitches a lot and I have muscle spasms inside of my neck I felt as if my mother would watch me a lot in my sleep and that bothered me it made me very afraid uncomfortable she would stare at my neck and when I would turn my head she would still be standing there watching me and when she would be eating she would have her back turned towards me eating I would be bottled up unhappy depressed she would barely talk to me this is when we used to share a room I wanted to do things for myself I felt as if something was not with her she barely could help me with anything and would always get mad if I had a voice of opinion and spoke and talked back to her she would get angry if I didn’t agree with her and she would try to force me to respond towards her I don’t like her I’m sorry but she’s evil and I don’t trust her at all she moved her bf into the house and allowed him To disrespect me and be angry towards me he’s not my father but he was acting as if he wanted me to listen towards him they would listen to me close the door and told me I was slamming the door and that I had to hold onto the door my body felt like I should let the door shut and let it go they wanted me to hold onto it and she would listen and watch me she used To sit at the kitchen table and watch me when I would be inside of my brothers room something was not right with her she would creep me out it’s like she wanted me to sleep and stay inside of her bedroom all day she didn’t even want me to have my own room she lied and told me she was going to give me my own bedroom when we first moved inside of the building and she never did I felt betrayed anxious and upset she would act different around her friends the way she treated me made me depressed and sad I have to heal myself from all the pain she’s caused me I allowed her to abuse me I couldn’t do anything about it she was my mother and taking care of me I wanted her to be a better parent I pray that I be a good mother to my children when I do have them I pray to get back to myself and stop allowing folks to intimidate me or upset me I pray for peace love and happiness I pray for a new car I pray for a new iPhone I pray for my father To heal completely from his mental illness I pray to heal from mental illness I used to sit outside a lot I was sad and depressed and used to be around bums at the park I didn’t have no where else to go and would just sit around outside I pray that I get back to myself I pray for brighter days I pray For my health to be better so I can run walk workout and just be healthy overall I pray to lose weight I Pray for my stomach to go down I pray for my body to heal I’m in discomfort as of now I have cramps I pray that they go away I pray that my nerves heal so that I can enjoy my life and appreciating every inch of my body I pray for my teeth to grow back and for the pain to subside I pray for my head to go back To normal and my thoughts and my subconscious mind I feel like I’m not a normal woman and I feel as if I look sick one of the guys at the bus stop had said I was watching him and he said I need to take my medication I was looking at him because he was walking past me and he looked at me first before he walked past me he caused a big scene and started talking about me to a random guy out on the streets I don’t even know that man or who he was and he wasn’t attractive I just pray that my health gets better I pray that I’m able to stand up for myself and not allow random people out on the streets to disrespect me or intimidate me or make me feel out of place some people need to stop saying stuff To people and need to learn how to stop judging other people and just allow people to be I pray that I get right and get myself together I pray for my body to heal so I don’t allow random people to walk up on me or try to bully me walking behind me I felt like some guy yesterday was walking behind me and I felt as if he was very weird I Pray for healing and that I get back to myself I pray for brighter days I pray to stop traveling so far without having money and being alone by myself i pray For better days I pray for a new home I pray for healing from wanting to die and not wanting to be alive I was at the hospital most of my days hating my self and my life eating food at the hospital I was always hungry so I knew I could have a sandwich or something to eat at the hospital I wanted to live and stay at the hospital I felt like they would care of me better than my parent I was so stressed out I wasn’t taking care of myself I was barely doing my hair I felt weird and crazy I was working at jobs That were too far I hated working there I was sick and tired of working retail and I’m a good worker I pray that things get better for me I pray for strength and healing I feel as if the other guy was crazy and I felt as if something was wrong with him I pray for strength and healing I pray for brighter days I pray for healing please pray for me