Ifgen
Humble Servant of All
I pray for great health. I pray for a new home a new iphone a new car. I pray that my body heals from whatever it seems to be going through. I pray that I get back to myself and stop being afraid of people and stop rejecting myself. Ever since I said something a couple of years ago I haven't been myself I've checked myself into a mental hospital plenty of times and at times I felt I came out worse I pray for healing and to get back to myself completely I miss the person that I used to be and would like to stop deceiving people and myself I haven't been honest about a lot of things while being In the relationship I'm in I haven't been truthful and I feel like my partner has to know things without me not speaking the truth I pray that I can forgive others who have made me depressed and who were against me and trying to make me not like myself I haven't been true to myself and pray that God can forgive me I pray that the man upstairs stop making a bunch of noise it's like he just want to make noise just to hear something I can hear him walking from one room to the next and he drops things it sounds like he's moving furniture that's how loud it is and one night I felt him over me moving things it sounded like he was In the corner above me so I moved over and when I moved over and turned to the other side of the bed he did something to my eyes and I haven't been feeling like myself ever since I felt like it had to be witchcraft or something and I felt like I got electrocuted when I turned on the bathroom light when I was inside of my mother's bathroom and he was right above me making noise I felt like I lost myself because of this man he made me develop a mental illness him my brother and my mother they caused me so much stress over the past few years I haven't held down a job in a while and don't plan on getting another one until I get better usually I'd start a job and then quit because of pay or distance I just haven't found a job that's worth me working and I accomplished a lot in my life I don't have all my full credits from college because I was working my teenage years and I decided to just go to a trade school and I have my certificate in business administration but I don't want to work with computers or sit at a desk all day that's not the type of job I want for myself I pray that I can start my own business one day I would like to create my own YouTube channel making smoothies juicing working out singing and doing a bunch of things I pray that my fingers heal so I can make my YouTube channel and work from home and not have anyone make my.work hrs for me I would rather work whenever I'd like and still make money I pray for my health to be better so I can laugh smile and just be happy I don't want any trouble or any drama I would like to make new friends I let go of the old ones I had over the past few years I had one friend who chose another friend over me and she started texting a man that was I dating she was exchanging comments under his Instagram post as well after I had broken up with him and I went to her birthday dinner and she didn't seem to happy to see me the energy was off and she got mad that I was happier to speak to someone else other then her I just wasn't feeling her and would like to meet a new friend who's down to earth loyal and one who don't want the same man as me that's weird she's not me I don't know why she would try to flirt or go after him after I had him I would have never expected for her to do something like that and then she never reached out to me when I stopped speaking with her well not as often and she never came to visit me and she lived right around the corner but she would be with other women that kind of made me look at her different I felt like I did something or like something was wrong with me she didn't invite me on any of the trips she went on with her sister and her family but invited her other friend I didnt work or have a job for a while and would like to start my own business as a YouTuber I pray that I lose weight so I can feel and look good of myself I gained weight and this is the biggest I've ever been and would just like to lose my arms and my stomach and for the weight in my face to go down..amen