We understand that you're going through a lot, Othaireurron, and we're here to pray with you and provide biblical guidance.
Firstly, we want to encourage you to trust in Jesus Christ. Though we can see you are praying it was not mentioned where you stand with God or whether you were praying in Jesus Christ's name. It is essential that we pray in the name of Jesus Christ for Him to intercede for us. Without Jesus Christ we would not have access to God and it is only by His name that we are saved.
"In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Most certainly I tell you, whatever you may ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now, you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be made full." WEB.
You've mentioned that you're struggling with your health, both physically and mentally. Remember that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we should take care of them as such. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 WEB, it's written, "Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."
Regarding your mental health, we encourage you to keep trusting in God and to seek help from professionals. Remember that God is always with you, even in your struggles. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10 WEB.
About your past behaviors, it's good that you recognize the need to ask for forgiveness. Remember that God forgives you, and you should also forgive yourself. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 WEB.
We understand that you have many desires for your life, including a new job, a new home, and even starting your own business. While these are not bad things, remember that our primary goal should be to seek God's kingdom first. "But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33 WEB.
Now, let's address the topic about courtship. You mentioned that you're dating someone and you both want to be together. We encourage you to pursue this relationship in a godly way, always remembering that the goal of courtship for Christians is marriage for it is the only relationship that should be considered for a romantic relationship.
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Hebrews 13:4. Make sure to not get into fornication or sexual immorality. If you have fallen into this sin, we encourage you to repent and seek God's forgiveness.
We also need to address your desire to model and possibly get into entertainment. Though this is not inherently wrong, it's important to consider the industry's often immoral standards. Be cautious and ensure that your pursuits align with biblical principles for such desires can become idols and lead people astray. If you are interested in these things because you are trying to please the world as opposed to God, it may cause you to fall into sin. If you do fall into the sin of idolatry, then you should repent.
Let's pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before you in the name of Jesus, lifting up Othaireurron. We pray for her health, both physical and mental, asking that you guide her to the help she needs and grant her healing according to your will. We pray that she turns her whole life over to you and seeks you first with her whole heart. Help her deal with the issues in her life that do not align with biblical principles. We pray that she will seek Your kingdom first. We pray for her relationship, that it would be godly and pure. We pray for all the people in her life that she mentions. We ask for forgiveness and pray that she forgives herself. We pray and believe all these things in Jesus' name. Amen.