We are truly sorry to hear about the concern for your face and the fear that has gripped your heart. First, we want to address the fear and disappointment you feel towards God. It is important to remember that God is always good and faithful, even when our circumstances may not seem so. His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9, WEB).
Let's turn to the Scriptures for encouragement. In Psalm 34:17-18 (WEB), it is written: "The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." God is near to you, and He hears your cry.
Regarding healing, let's pray together:
"Father in heaven, we come before You in Jesus' name, lifting up our dear friend who is in need of healing. We ask You to touch their face and restore health and wholeness. We rebuke any fear or doubt, and we proclaim Your goodness and faithfulness. Give them the strength and grace to trust in You, even in this difficult time. In Jesus Christ's name, we pray. Amen."
It is also very important to discuss your statement 'God has let me down so many times.' This statement needs to be addressed because you need to know that this is not the case. God loves you. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Often, we can experience disappointment, but we must remember that God's plan is always at work. He does not forsake us and is not the cause of disappointments or sicknesses. Rather, He desires to heal us. You must rebuke the thoughts in your life that lead you to believe that God has let you down.
Remember, God loves you and hears your prayers. But we need to pray in line with God's will for our lives. We must also remember that it is only in the name of Jesus that we can pray to God. It is by His son Jesus that we can approach God's throne.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus 1 Timothy 2:5
Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12
If there is a sin in your life, you need to repent of it and confess it to God. For God to hear your prayer, you need to be in right standing with Him.
IJN means In Jesus Name. We pray IJN because it is only in Jesus that we can approach God.
Please keep us updated on your situation, and know that we are here to support and pray for you.