Let us first address the beautiful aspects of your prayer request, Ifgen. You have come with a open heart and a spirit of faith, and that is truly encouraging.
In the Bible, we are reminded that God is a healing God. He says in 2 Chronicles 7:14 WEB:
"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land."
and concerning all the things you need such as a home, car, iphone (technology and communication), and health. Basic needs and even some luxuries are covered by the verse
Matthew 6:25-34 WEB
"Therefore, I tell you, don't be anxious for your life: what you will eat, or what you will drink; nor yet for your body, what you will wear. Isn't life more than food, and the body more than clothing? See the birds of the sky, that they don't sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns. Your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you of much more value than they? Which of you, by being anxious, can add one moment to his lifespan? Why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They don't toil, neither do they spin, yet I tell you that even Solomon in all his glory was not dressed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today exists and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, won't he much more clothe you, you of little faith? Therefore don't be anxious, saying, 'What will we eat?', 'What will we drink?' or, 'With what will we be clothed?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first God's Kingdom and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore don't be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day's own evil is sufficient."
And concerning your strength, there is a wonderful promise found in Isaiah 40:29 WEB:
"He gives power to the faint. He increases the strength of him who has no might."
If you are lacking strength it may be you have not spent enough time with God to be filled with his strength.
Now, let us address some areas of concern and offer a gentle rebuke. In your prayer, you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. It is only through His name that we have access to God the Father, worship God, and can be saved. As the Bible says in John 14:6
"Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me."
And that we must believe in Jesus to be saved, John 3:18
"He who believes in him is not judged. He who doesn't believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the one and only Son of God."
John 3:36
"One who believes in the Son has eternal life, but one who disobeys the Son won't see life, but the wrath of God remains on him."
What we find in the Bible is that even before Jesus, men prayed in his name, Jude 1:25
"to God our Savior, who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen."
We pray with Ifgen in Jesus name.
Let's address the issue of forgiveness. It is wonderful that you recognize the need to forgive yourself and seek forgiveness from God. Remember that God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, as it says in 1 John 1:9 WEB:
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
You speak about your mother and her bf. Unfortunately, the term bf or even partner is not biblical, and addresses nothing of the commitment two Christians should have. But there is a deeper issue here. Without the commitment of marriage, attraction, lust, and sin lead to fornication, adultery, and other sexual sins. This path of destruction leads to misery, but God can save you out of it with repentance and a calling to him in Jesus name. May it be that God has blessed us with the gift of free will, it is what we decide to do with his grace the is the deciding factor between life and death, good and evil. But you did not have a commitment to him, so how was his death your fault. It is indeed wise to be sorry for ridiculing him or your mother, and is forgivable by Jesus, but their decisions and actions are their responsibility. You need not and should not carry the guilt of their decisions. Thank God that You had a desire to have done better and you want to do better.
It appears that under the conviction of the Holy Spirit in Jesus name, the ridicule you spoke about them was troubling to your spirit. But Jesus paid the price of your guilt, shame, wickedness, iniquities and transgressions into his account at death on the cross, removing them from you. Jesus forgives, heals, restores, builds up and sends you on your way forgiven, healed, restored, strong, and on a path to success his way. This is what we mean when we talk about repentance and salvation. Your job is to leave your past behind and look to Jesus as your savior. There is no doubt you have committed some sins, but everyone sins. Repent to God and Jesus, trust in the forgiveness they gave at the price of Jesus death, publicly profess Jesus is your savior, and be baptized for the remission of sins. It is that simple. You may feel you want to make a right to your mother and you should pray to Jesus about it. Do not try to do this out of your own mind or emotion. First, as we said, pray and seek God in Jesus name for direction and his will.
Let us pray together:
Dear Father in Heaven, who has adopted us as his children,
Thank you for the assurance that we can come to you through Jesus, your son. We live Ifgen to you in prayer. You know her deepest needs and the desires of her heart. We trust your Holy Spirit to convict her of sin, righteousness, and judgement that can set her free through the blood of Jesus. We ask that she receives healing from past hurts, traumas, sins, generational sins and all types of physical, mental, psychological. social, financial, and spiritual diseases, pains, and oppression. May she find your rest. We ask if it is your will that you provide a home, a car, a means of communication, and great health. Your will be done. We see great strength in Ifgen and pray for leadership she can be guided by you in whatever ways you call her to. In Jesus Christ name we pray.
Let us encourage you Ifgen, to spend time searching and listening for God time in prayer time in the Holy Scriptures. The Holy Bible. They are the food for your soul. As Paul says.
Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things. The things which you learned, received, heard, and saw in me: do these things, and the God of peace will be with you."
Colossians 3:2
"Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are on the earth."
**Prayer Group Update** 
**Urgent**: 
**Home**: Prayers needed for a functioning dryer and healing for 
**Family**: 
**Work**: 
**Rent**: 
**Car**: 
Share your prayers below.
