Ifgen
Humble Servant of All
I pray for great health a new home a new iphone a new car I pray for healing from my past I pray for strength and protection I pray for forgiveness from all of my sins I pray that my face stops twitching I pray that my teeth grow back to the ones that came out I pray for better teeth that they go back to looking nice and healthy I pray that my skin gets clearer I pray for a flat stomach and for me to lose weight I was diagnosed with schizophrenia from a doctor and the medication made me gain a lot of weight all I did was eat while I was inside the hospital I stayed at the hospital for a month and stayed to myself a lot I didn't like anyone because I felt I didn't belong there I went there because my mother wanted me to check myself in so I went when the ambulance came to my house I didn't have a job or anywhere else to go so I just decided to go I pray for healing I pray that I can forgive myself for firstly checking myself inside the hospital the first time a few years ago my mother made me stressed out she kept waking me up in my sleep and she was getting mad at me for sleeping she would open the door and come in the house and start screaming it was very awful that's when I was going back and forth between my house and my aunt's house I only went by my aunt house to heal from all the pain that I was going through at home I used to fight and argue with my brother my mothers bf and my mother it was stressing me.out I wasnt focused I didn't have a job I wasn't working and I used to be stressed out a lot I didn't get along with my cousin either at my aunt's house I didn't like her and she didn't treat me well the first time I stayed near her house it was better even though she didn't speak with me I felt like she was watching me staring at me a lot watching my drink when I had it in my lap watching my phone when I had it in my lap it was awful she used to make me feel uncomfortable that was the first time I ever experienced anything like that so I started to question myself and it made me sad I felt trapped she would close the room door I slept in behind her when she would leave out and she would leave me in the dark I felt like she was doing things to me on spite and when I was sitting down in her brothers room she had the refrigerator door open behind my back I felt like she had it open to aggravate me and she kept walking very close behind me when I was on the computer and I had to turn my head and move myself out of her way it was very uncomfortable for me I pray for strength and for healing I pray to heal from all the pain that I was going through I pray for a new home so I don't have to stay with anyone and I could sleep peacefully and have my own place to enjoy myself and be at peace overall I would like to start my own business working from home making YouTube videos I would also like to sing again I pray that my singing voice stays the same I pray that I can learn not to allow people to get the best of me I have people who visit me at my home and they check to see how I'm doing and I feel uncomfortable about them coming to my house it's a program for people who have mental illness and I feel bound to the government as if they have control over my every being I feel like whatever I do they know and I don't like that I'm a human being and deserve some sort of legal privacy so I can live my life I am not a criminal even if I was I would still be a human being I just pray that I can come out of the system as a person who suffers from mental illness and get back to myself I want to be a better woman and not allow folks to get the best of me people have their own problems and I don't want nothing to do with that I want to be able to be in control over my own emotions I felt sad and depressed I pray to heal from depression and anxiety I pray to heal from my past I pray to heal from living with my aunt and making poor decisions for myself I pray for a new bike I pray for strength and protection I pray to be protected from my neighbor upstairs he makes a lot of noise throughout the house and I feel he make noise on purpose to startle me up I don't like that I pray for healing and that I don't let him intimidate me or his dog I pray to heal for talking to people who weren't good for me and making poor decisions I pray for a new car I pray for better days I pray for healing from all the pain that my mother caused me I pray to forgive her so I can be happy and grow I pray for forgiveness for arguing and fighting with my mother and brother everyday it was bad I pray that I can learn to forgive him and move on I pray to forgive myself for making a not so good decision by living with my uncle he wanted me to be happy but I felt like he started moving around strange and doing stuff with his feet and he would turn his neck a lot and do things with his feet that bothered me and made me very uncomfortable I didn't want to stay with him any longer I'm a woman and I'm not a child I realize that I need my own place so I can be comfortable and rest whenever I want to and not allowing people to make me feel like I have to obey by their rules because I'm staying with even though I did listen I felt as if their was something telling me that he didn't want me to stay with him he felt disgusted and he was trying to help me I felt like he was picking out outfits for me it was not what I liked and I just pray that I can heal from staying with him I pray to heal from feeling suicidal and not wanting to live because of something that I had said I pray that I can learn to forgive myself and learn to appreciate myself and learn how to love my life and just doing things again even though people tried to prevent me from being happy or content my mother wouldn't even bring me around family members and would say it's because I wasn't taking care of myself she know family members and I don't know even know them which I find to be strange I pray that I can heal one of my cousins had a wedding and me and her went to school together and I don't think my mother wanted me to go to her wedding and she got all dressed up and went which I think wasn't fair at all I pray that things get better for me I also want to heal from all the pain that my cousin has caused me she was watching me and making me feel uncomfortable I could tell she felt like I was a threat or competition and I didn't even do anything to her all I did was eat food when her mom went food shopping and watched videos and listen to music on my phone I didnt mess with her she's not a nice woman very mean towards people and she was trying to fight with me when her mother had the room door closed she was trying to fight with me when I was on the computer and she was bumping me when she had walked past me and she had stepped on my toes she was bullying me basically and trying to start fights with me trying to make me afraid of her or jealous of her she thought she looked better then me and she would fold her arms and roll her eyes a lot I didn't like being near her very negative person I pray that I can forgive myself for allowing someone to treat me that way I pray for a new bike I pray for protection from my enemies I pray for my relationship to get better with the guy I'm dating and that we can be more affectionate he's not my husband but he told me he wants to have more than one wife I pray that he changes his mind and only want to be committed to one person I notice he have some negative ways about him as well I pray that he heals and learn more about God I pray that my father heal from his mental illness and that I can forgive my grandmother for how she's been acting as well she was calling me names calling me homeless saying that I sleep outside she said that I should be in jail because I didn't have money to pay the taxi driver I just pray that things get better for me and that I can learn to forgive her I feel like she's very nosy and judgmental she thought I was with a man older me and she was questioning my where abouts and she was talking bad about me to my uncle trying to make him think less of me it was awful she would scream at me all the time when I was staying with her she didn't want me to leave the house when I was working at bed bath and beyond and wanted me to leave when it got light outside but it was around 6am and their was people outside and I had to leave to get ready to catch the bus and she wouldn't let me leave her house at the time she would always argue with me over small things and she has a very negative attitude as well her and my mother don't really have a good relationship but I pray that things get better for me I pray that my overall health gets better and that I stop being envious of what other people have because I don't have right now and learn to be happy with what's on the way and what I do have now I pray for healing for my stomach I used to have bad cramps and a lot of issues with my gut I pray that I can heal before I had psoriasis over my entire body and my skin was breaking out I pray for healing and that I get back to myself I pray for a new home so I can be at peace and away from the drama and be happy I pray that the pinched nerve in my hands go away I pray to heal from mild scoliosis I pray to heal from my past I pray for forgiveness from all of my past sins I pray to heal from all guilt and shame