Ifgen
Humble Servant of All
I pray that my body heals. I feel like a ghost sometimes I can see my shadow in everything that I do and I feel as if that's not normal. The man upstairs is doing something to my body I can feel it, I pray but nothing seems to work. When I try to fight back my muscles feel weak. Meaning, if he makes noise I'll make noise back I feel like he did something to my veins inside my hands because they don't seem as visible like before and my hands feel weak and smaller and no matter what I seem to do I just can't get back to myself. I pray, I drink water, I workout, sometimes, but still nothing seems to work. I feel like a monster is inside of me my face twitches a lot and my body just seems weak. I gained a lot of weight and I don't have the passion to work with people. I pray that I become strong and healthy and that this sickness goes away from me. For years I felt like the guy upstairs was doing something to me he's obsessed with listening to me inside my house and bothering me for some reason I feel like he's jealous of me he's a homosexual and he look lost whenever I see him out in public. I want God to step in and heal my body and restore me back to good health even though at times I don't feel as if I deserve it I pray for a new home too so I can move and be at peace with myself I been living inside this building I stay in since high school and I'm ready to move I feel like something is wrong with me I went to check myself in to a mental hospital and just want peace I felt crazy like something was wrong with me I just pray for strength and healing I feel like the hospital made me more.depressed I didn't like the roommates I had I been to more than one hospital and felt like the more I got admitted and checked myself inside the hospital further away I felt from God and myself I pray that I get back to myself I pray that God forgives me for being mean to folks in my past I pray that.i get another chance to be happy and.to be normal again the doctor diagnosed me schizophrenia.she.said I was paranoid I just want my body to feel normal again I feel like the man upstairs was following my body around and trying.to.have mind control over me and I can hear noise through the walls and it's like a sharp instrument is being plagued through the walls. I feel like he's doing black magic on me because the stuff that's happening.to.me because of him don't seem surreal. I want to be protected from this gay man and back to myself it's like he knows I'm inside my house and he wants to compete with me and make noise so that when I move he moves elsewhere and goes and make a noise somewhere else to get me moving back and forth. I can feel him doing things to me and a couple years ago when I was downtown in Paterson something strange happened to my body I felt like God is upset with me because what I felt wasn't normal. I pray that I can heal from all the pain that my brother caused me as well and learn to get back to myself my brother used to hate and compete with me and he made me depressed he didn't like me and used to call me names and I didn't even do anything towards him I pray for healing and that I get back to myself even when I went to live with my aunt her daughter didn't like me and didn't.speak.to me and that made me very uncomfortable it was bad.she.didnt.make.me.feel welcomed and I just pray that I heal from living with her