Anonymous
Beloved of All
Recently, I realized my singleness stems from fear. The fear of hurt, the fear of rejection, the fear of not being 'enough'
I have isolated myself the past two years because of my past experiences with love. I dated a narcissist that changed the trajectory of my life. I spent a year in therapy and uncovered that my parents are narcissists, which is why I didn't pick up on the manipulation, lack of emotional availability, and conditional love. I am healed now, and can pin-point these things. However, even with my boundaries and taking it slow, my next relationship was with a covert narcissist. The discard and emotional neglect from these people after choosing to see me as not worthy HURTS. I developed a wall to protect myself, that I thought would go away, but it has only strengthened. I am healed and ready for a healthy, real-love, but I need God to open my heart and let them in. I am asking God for a reciprocal love to find and pursue me. One that loves and communicates in the same way that I do. I pray for a healthy love and a healthy partner. And when God sends them to find me, I pray that my mind and heart welcomes them in.
I have isolated myself the past two years because of my past experiences with love. I dated a narcissist that changed the trajectory of my life. I spent a year in therapy and uncovered that my parents are narcissists, which is why I didn't pick up on the manipulation, lack of emotional availability, and conditional love. I am healed now, and can pin-point these things. However, even with my boundaries and taking it slow, my next relationship was with a covert narcissist. The discard and emotional neglect from these people after choosing to see me as not worthy HURTS. I developed a wall to protect myself, that I thought would go away, but it has only strengthened. I am healed and ready for a healthy, real-love, but I need God to open my heart and let them in. I am asking God for a reciprocal love to find and pursue me. One that loves and communicates in the same way that I do. I pray for a healthy love and a healthy partner. And when God sends them to find me, I pray that my mind and heart welcomes them in.