Instead of a well-manicured life, and perfectly organized and aesthetic home, my heart is yearning for more connection with love... His love... and, to be part of His loving presence.
I tucked my sleepy toddler in bed and pushed aside his treasures — a stick and a "Biscuit" book. Boys are such shocking and addicting creatures. I want a two-year-old boy always.
But mothering was hard today.
I messed up, and even though my long-term goal was good and right, my words were impatient and ungracious.
I've been listening to the Bible out loud — as I drive, wash dishes, and mix bread. God's story on earth is told through such messy, needy people. The glorious gospel smashed hard up against fighting and deception. It's staggering. Perplexing.
How an immortal God dares to pause and press His fingerprint into the brittle clay of humankind is enough to leave me gasping. In one hand, we have the Holiest of Holies. In the other, we have a person bent on his own stubborn way. How can these two tell one story?
It's not the perfection of the man, Jesus, that makes the gospel of His beautiful, but the miracle of it. The restoration, the breath of heaven rushing into a dead body, the impossible putting on mortal flesh by the eternal and holy.
I'm jotting down goals for this year, but I'm eyeing them warily. Instead of a well-manicured life, and perfectly organized and aesthetic home, my heart is yearning for more connection with love... His love... and, to be part of His loving presence.
To know His voice, in my most crumbling moments.
To speak His words, instead of my hasty ones, to my children. Being fully present where God has me, and honest to goodness, letting everything else go.
I'm pushing it all aside. I'm listening. Yes, even listening to the sticks and books in the toddler's crib and looking for Him.
It's holy work. It's beautiful breaking.
Heaven and earth clasp hands and kiss.
Emmanuel, God with us.
Among us.
Within us.
Here.
He is here.
And I am listening!
About the author: Melissa Troyer is a stay at home mom with five beautiful children who keep her busy and constantly remind her to get down on her knees, both to laugh with them and to pray for them. Melissa is happily married to the love of her life, Daniel, who is currently studying full time to become a Physician's Assistant.
Melissa has learned to lean against the Father in seasons of loss and to dance through the dust in times where hope is renewed. She is passionate about worshipping in each season and often finds herself weaving words encouraging others to do the same. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook. You can find more of her writing on her blog, listed below
r at her blog: Continue reading...
Hello everyone! Let's lift up @Radger's marriage restoration, 
In Jesus' Name.
