Myrremer
Disciple of Prayer
God, Today is my ###th birthday. You still haven't answered my prayer of being loved and appreciated and treated like I’m special to someone for just being me. You know that there are human beings. And once again the people who claim they are my family also have not wished me happy birthday. Not one call from my “forever family.” Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my mother's death. I’m sure no one knew that at this church. As usual. Nobody wants to be involved in my life unless it's on their terms and with no compromise and no way for me to express my voice yet again. I don’t know man. It’s the same horrible stuff just another year on the books. Thanks for not letting those grenades blow me up on ###/###/###. And especially those people up. Please smack my step-dad upside the head up there for doing that to me. I’m sure it’s funny up there, for the people down here going through it, it sucks! And would you please answer my prayer of being safe from criminals and felons and the cops for once in my life! I hope someday you will send me someone that considers my feelings and my happiness and joy someday. Because at this point, God, I might as well not exist, the only person that cares about me is you? Because people say they care, it’s just superficial but they never make themselves available to me, and don’t reach out to me, and well, they don’t treat me like a human being at all. It’s been going on for 12 years man. I have almost literally died 5 times, while people blame it on my mental health and use it as a weapon against me. Not even considering that one of the reasons for my mental health issues is because of them! A man raped me and tried to murder me. That’s kind of a big deal. They just talk at me constantly instead of sharing space with me. I’m not getting my basic human needs met emotionally that requires other individuals to assist with people that are willing. And you don’t make it easy for me to have people willing. It’s the hardest knowledge to know that I could die tomorrow, and not a person would know and only care as an afterthought. I feel like there is no meaning for me as an individual to exist. Still after 12 years. Take this burden off of me! Lord, fucking listen to me! Telling me that it’s God’s plan for me to be used as bait for criminals and felons is bullshit!