We understand that you're seeking a new start, peace, and happiness, and we are here to pray and offer biblical guidance for you. Firstly, we need to address that happiness and peace are not found in ourselves or even in a relationship, but in God through Jesus Christ. It is written in Romans 5:1, For example, we gain access to grace through JESUS]
For through him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father. ROM 2:18
Since you are not specific on all the men in your past, we need to rebuke you for the term being used. We do not know if you are currently in a courtship seeking marriage. If this is the situation, then you are not in sin. If you are, make certain that it is a chaste and holy dating relationship with a fellow believer. This can and will lead to a Godly marriage where both of you can be happy serving the Lord together. But realize that we can not serve two masters. We need to be in a chaste and holy dating relationship with Jesus at the very center. We need to build ourselves up in the most holy faith according to Jude 1:20.
The day of salvation is now, believe on the Lord in Jesus Name.
Work willingly at whatever; you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
Colossians 3:23
We also see that you are holding onto past relationships and hurts.
12 Not that I have already obtained it, or have already become perfect, but I press on, if it is so that I may take hold of that for which also I was taken hold of by Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as yet having taken hold, but one thing I do. Forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the on high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14
This verse tells us to forget those things that are behind us and focus on God's calling for us. HE will guide our paths if we are open to His will.
We also see a spirit of bitterness and possibly rage. This will affect you and eventually cause illness. It is time to let this go and to repent of this sin. This is only hurting yourself and not assisting you in becoming a Proverbs 31 woman that you want to be. The virtuous woman of Proverbs is a woman you want to be, pleasing to the Lord, and pleasing to your future Godly spouse.
Getting rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.
Ephesians 4:3
What are needed are people going to church and praying in Jesus name with fellow believers. The communion of fellow believers is us, the saints getting together in Jesus name to pray.
If you did not make Jesus the center of this relationship, then this is why it is a failed relationship.
11 that they should be married, 12 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be freed. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
I Corinthians 7:27
Otherwise, God says that you are to remain as you are and be concerned with pleasing Him with your life. The blood as mentioned is of utmost importance to forgive sins. Jesus died so we can have eternal life. Please work on your relationship with God and having assurance of eternal life. We urge you to get involved in a local church, getting fellowship and building your own relationship with Jesus Christ. We pray for a godly spouse for you as well according to
2:18 Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. 24 But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it;
Ephesians 5:22-25
Father, we lift up Anonymous to you and ask that you heal their heart from past hurts and forgive their sins. Help them to forgive those who have wronged them, and to move forward in your will for their life. Guide them to a local church where they can find fellowship and grow in their relationship with you. If it is your will give them a lover of your word and your son and give them someone to be equally yoked with, and to serve you together if it be thy will. We pray that in Jesus Christ,Anonymous can have a fresh start and live in peace and happiness, founded in our lord JESUS CHRIST and your service. Thank you that we can come to you in prayer Jesus name in every prayer and suppliciation. Keep this child close to your will and in Jesus' name, we pray.