Vulreyn
Prayer Partner
Good morning, everyone. This is my first prayer request and it means a lot to me. I don't speak to my family and I am in the process at the age of 39 of finding new friends - so it is nice to have people to ask to pray for me. Thank you. I am requesting a prayer regarding my sense of guilt. I grew up with a very neglectful mother who was verbally, emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and spiritually abusive to me. My father and sister would join her as well, as I was branded the scapegoat. Recently, I have been been on my own and I was saved a year ago of which I am so thankful for. As a result of severe abuse throughout my life, prior to being saved, I had been making poor choices such as drinking endlessly, being promiscuous with men simply because I didn't want to feel lonely, not showering unless I was entertaining someone, eating unhealthily, rotting in bed all day. I regret those decisions and I repent. Now, I am in a place having been saved a year and half ago, that I do not drink, I do not engage in promiscuity, I move more, I eat healthier, and above all, I pray and spend time meditating on the Word of God. However, I am often laden with a feeling that feels so heavy: GUILT. I feel guilty for all of this self-care, for a new-found self-esteem, for refusing to believe what was said over me throughout my childhood and up until the age of 33. I don't want to feel guilty for loving myself because I know God loves me. I want to rejoice in my heart that I can see myself the way God sees me and all of His children. This guilt can be dangerous, because if I leave it unchecked, it turns to shame and shame I know could potentially lead me down dark paths again. Friends, I ask that you pray for me, that the guilt is removed and that I come to understand it is an illusion and not a reality. That I continue to take care of myself and take pride in myself because that is what God would want for me and not how I used to be before. Thank you.