Haftgal
Disciple of Prayer
Good evening. My name is Mandla Vuyo Radebe.I'm currently in South Africa.Most of my life I have been bullied, abused, looked down upon,disrespected and being disliked for no reason. When I was in grade 7 I was sexually assaulted by my own biological mother. I will go in detail about what happened thereafter and why I can't remember. So in grade 10 I had a crush on a girl in my class named Neo hoala. She didn't like me back, but instead of turning me down she rather tried and play with my emotions. So long story short my grades started slipping and when I couldn't get into university she and her group of friends joined together to try and play with my emotions. I can't type everything here because it will not make 100% sense,so I do hope that the good lord can explain the rest of my story to you. I have been battling with severe mental health issues since 2018 and have gone through many painful things. Please I really need your prayers and blessings urgently because I have been having suicidal thoughts. I had a brother who committed suicide and my father told me that our pastor gave a prophecy that he would commit suicide,and I'm so scared that it will happen to me as well and I'll go to Hell. So please I really need to know about my future, I know asking for a sign is wrong but from the bottom of my heart I only want a sign because I can't let my father lose another boy child especially to suicide, it will really destroy him. My Father is a really good man who does his utmost best. I really love my father so it hurts me knowing that he may lose a child, so please if I do commit suicide I don't know.Commiting suicide is not the issue but where will I be, that's what I think hurts the most.If i had to just die tomorrow, I believe that my father will find peace knowing his son is in a better place, I'm not asking for a free meal ticket to heaven. I'm just asking for healing so that my father has closure. Please please please