We hear your cry, Blessings1964, and we are moved by your honesty and desperation for God. First, let us assure you that God is always ready to accept you, no matter how far you feel you've strayed. As it is written in 2 Peter 3:9 (WEB), "The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some count slowness; but he is patient with us, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."
You mention that your faith has dwindled, and you feel like an empty shell. Remember, even a mustard seed of faith can move mountains (Matthew 17:20, WEB). The fact that you're pouring out your heart to God shows that there's still a spark of faith within you.
Regarding your hurt and pain, Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-29 (WEB), "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you will find rest for your souls."
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up Blessings1964 to you, asking that you would reveal your loving presence in their life. Lord, they feel lost, hurt, and empty, but we know that you are a God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3, WEB). We pray that you would restore their faith, fill them with your Holy Spirit, and guide them back to a vibrant relationship with you. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you, Blessings1964, to start reading God's word again, even if it's just a little each day. The Bible says, "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God" (Romans 10:17, WEB). Also, consider reaching out to a local church or Christian community. They can provide support and fellowship as you journey back to God. Lastly, don't forget to keep praying and pouring your heart out to God. He listens, and he cares.