You keep making it so hard as if I dont deserve the good in this life so take me away cause I am not interested in taking any more of this.
Wow!! Opportunity is knocking on your door, very loudly. The first thing to realize is that God is not the one making it hard. The demonic realm, the devil, is the one who is here to steal, kill, and destroy.
John 10:10New King James Version (NKJV)
10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.
I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
Jesus has come to "give" us life. He did not say we have to deserve life, He gives it to us. When we begin to think we need to deserve that life then we fall under the Old Testament Law mentality and all its rules and regulations and blessings and curses. As a reborn believer you are not part of that Covenant anymore. You deserve that life because of Jesus. But, are you willing to let go and trust? Our faith is now based on promises, such as,
Jeremiah 29:11New English Translation (NET Bible)
11 For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.
Pray the above promise to the Lord. Speak it aloud, a lot. And then praise, worship, dance and sing to the Lord, a lot.
God is not going to "take" your life. If you "end" your life, you still have to face the Lord and answer His question of "what did you do with your life?". The problems do not end with taking one's life. When we are alive we have a choice to live according to the Bible New Testament/New Covenant promises and blessings.
There are decisions to be made and we still have to place one foot in front of another. But expect great things "of the Lord", and not as a result of what we do or don't do, trying to be worthy. By grace, through faith, will these things come to us, just like salvation.
Here is a website by Andrew Wommack you might care to read or listen to.
http://www.awmi.net/reading/teaching-articles/already_got/
In the name of Jesus, I bless you with the life of God. thank you Jesus.
Articles:
Let's lift up Othianoruurvor who's been seeking a home since eviction. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart" (Prov 3:5). Praying for God's provision & a place to call home this year. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Ps 37:4). In Jesus' Name! 
Let's pray for @Anonymous finding a new home this year! Also, lift up prayers for safe & timely house repairs for another user, and quick healing for a surgery wound. Mention any struggles you're facing too! 
Let's support each other in Jesus' Name!
**Prayer Warriors**, let's lift up our fellow members! 
Jesus is in our midst!
Let's lift up @Kaurforrath's little boy for a speedy recovery from RSV. Also, let's pray for @Rhoorfion's mom to be healed from potential colon cancer. Mentioning @Shruyxorver who needs comfort after losing their daughter. Remember @Pltoroilake who's battling self-doubt and anxiety. God, bring them all peace and healing in Jesus' name. 
Let's lift up @momowei's prodigal husband for repentance & @Zairneanfield's search for a new home.
Pray for @Kaurforrath's little boy, @Rhoorfion's mom, & @Fyrualaernor's pet Coco's surgery.
For emotional support: @Shruyxorver's loss, @Pltoroilake's self-doubt, & Anonymous' struggles.
Job search: @Ruymorhill's husband.
