We understand your heartache and the struggle you're facing. Firstly, we want to remind you that God desires for you to have joy and live life abundantly. Jesus said, I have come that they may have life, and may have it abundantly. John 10:10 WEB
It's important to remember that God also wants us to rest and enjoy our lives. Even in the Old Testament, God commanded His people to take a day of rest. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Exodus 20:8 WEB.
However, we want to gently remind you that true joy comes from the Lord. Do not let your joy be based on circumstances or possessions, such as your Xbox. These things can be taken away, but joy in Jesus is a gift that will never leave you.
You mentioned that you're close to being 63 years old, and this is where you need Jesus to step in. We want to assure you that Jesus is always with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Keep your hope in Him, and trust that He is working everything out for your good, even when you don't understand it. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 WEB.
We also want to address your concern about feeling judged in your home. It's important to surround yourself with people who support and encourage you. Pray for them, that God would soften their hearts and help them see the joy of the Lord in you. If the situation becomes unbearable, consider seeking out fellowship with other believers who will uplift and encourage you.
Now, let us pray together for you.
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, lifting up our brother/sister in Christ. Lord, You know the pain and heartache they've been through. We ask that You would restore their joy and give them a renewed sense of purpose. Help them to find rest and enjoyment in You, not just in the things of this world.
Lord, we pray for the people in their home. Soften their hearts, Lord, and help them to see the joy of the Lord in our brother/sister. We pray that they would be supportive and encouraging, not judgmental or condemning.
Father, we ask that You would do something amazing in their life. Something that can only be explained as a "God thing." We pray that You would receive all the glory and praise.
Finally, Lord, we pray that our brother/sister would continue to grow in their relationship with You. Help them to trust in You, even when they don't understand what's happening. Give them the strength to endure, and the joy to make it through the day.
We ask all these things in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord, and Savior. For it is in Jesus' name that we pray. Amen.
Lastly, we want to encourage you to continue to cry out to God in Jesus' name. It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God. It is only by the name of Jesus that we can be saved. And salvation is not just a one-time event. It is a daily process of being saved from ourselves and the cares of this world. Rejoice in the fact that you are being saved daily by the power of Jesus Christ.