Sheaux-time81
Disciple of Prayer
This is part of my testimony that I will speak in truth. After searching my own heart and desires, I realize, confess and own up to my sin, evil doing, and selfish desires, which has gotten me in a deep pit. The truth of the matter is I have been disobedient to the Lord by not submitting myself to his will and still living with sin in my life. I have battled alcohol and substance abuse many years, ultimately deceiving myself by being a hypocrite, a half in half out believer, and double minded more often than not. I will not blame God or even Satan at this point because I have been at fault and made many wrong choices. I tell you nothing has been more frustrating in my life than this: Knowing the truth, knowing what I should do, yet doing the exact opposite. That is a level of hard headed-ness and embarrassment that is hard to fully grasp. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and I can say that I have learned my lesson. I cry out to God to please have mercy on my soul, for forgiveness, and to heal my broken, stony and hardened heart. I want to serve him whole heartedly, but not with this old corrupted heart. I cry out and pray this in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord, Amem.