I’m not sure what you’re going through, friend, but I just said a prayer for you. May the Lord surround you with His loving presence, deliver you from your struggles and help you experience His peace, comfort, and strength in a special way during this difficult time. I’m really concerned that you mentioned death. Please get some help right away -- tell someone who can assist you with how you are feeling. Should you be interested, Focus on the Family has free licensed counselors that you can call at 1-800-A-FAMILY. A friend of mine found them very caring and encouraging. Your life is precious no matter what issues you’re facing, friend. Try not to give up. Hang in there!