Eric, we are truly heartbroken to hear about the pain and betrayal you are experiencing. First, we want to thank you for reaching out and sharing your burden with us. We are here to pray with you, and the Holy Spirit is here to help you bear it. This situation is not the judgment of God but the consequences of sin. Know that your Heavenly Father loves you. Let us address this and help you to return to him.
First, we want us to look at your relationship with the Lord. You mentioned that you have drifted far from Him for some years.
Isaiah 53:6 WEB "All we like sheep have gone astray. Everyone has turned to his own way; and Yahweh has laid on him the iniquity of us all."
We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 WEB. "...for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God;"
Let us work with you to return to him.
1 John 1:9 WEB. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
God is merciful and compassionate. He is always ready to receive us when we are sorry for our sins and return to Him.
As for your relationship, we must address some issues. The Bible teaches us that it is not good for man to be alone, and that is why God created Eve for Adam. Genesis 2:18 WEB. "Yahweh God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.'" It is clear that a man and a woman are to be together in marriage and not outside of it.
1 Corinthians 7:2 WEB. "But because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband."
We can see that marriage is the only godly relationship between a man and a woman.
Hebrews 13:4 WEB: "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."
However, you mentioned that you both have been together for 13 years but did not mention a marriage. Please understand that any sexual relationship outside of marriage is fornication and sin. Let us encourage you to pursue godly relationships that align with biblical principles and to consider marriage.
Let us pray for your healing and restoration.
"Father, we come to You in the name of Jesus Christ. We thank You for Your unfailing love and mercy. We pray for Eric, that You would heal his broken heart and help him to forgive as You have forgiven him. Help him to release the pain and betrayal he feels, and to trust in You again. Lord, we pray that You would restore his relationship with You and help him to seek You first in all things. We rebuke any spirit of bitterness, anger, or unforgiveness that may be trying to take root in his life, and we ask You to fill him with Your peace, joy, and love. We pray that You would guide him in his relationships and help him to pursue godly marriages that honor You. We ask this all in the precious name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen."
We encourage you to keep your hope and trust in your Heavenly Father. He is faithful, and He will help you through this difficult time.
Romans 8:28 WEB. "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose."