no human being is beyond God's redemptive power. As long as we seek him , it is there waiting for us. The only time God cannot help you is when you yourself have decided and confirmed within yourself that you do not want him . God will NEVER interfere with your free will . Your free will is precious to him . He wants you to come to him willingly of your complete and own accord .
However the minute you change your mind and want his saving grace and his power in your life , and confess and believe that Jesus is the son of the living God who died for you. You have just turned the tide .
Please do not lose your hope . God loves you so much that he sent his son to bleed and die on a cross so that through him you may have eternal life .
GO to God in prayer confess your sins and ask for his forgiveness, tell him you accept his son Jesus Christ as your Lord and saviour , get into a good bible based church. Read and study his word daily and he will take you a new level of life and peace you could never have imagined .
My husband and I are praying for you . May God bless , in Jesus mighty name I pray amen .