Giving up.

[Arlurd]

I’m tired. Although I am struggling physically, that’s not what bothers me the most. I’ve been married for 30+ years. Over that time, I’ve had other women trust my judgment more. I’ve connected with other women more deeply. The first time I was defended in public by a woman, it was not my wife. I’ve bent over backwards to do everything that a woman desires for intimate, emotional connection. We’ve had “deep, heart-felt” discussions. And, quite frankly, have a wife who is nothing more than a friend. Now, I have not, and do not intend to break my oath to God and her by infidelity or divorce (without Biblical grounds), Nor does the title of “giving up” have to do with ceasing to provide the love and affection that I have been providing. It speaks of what my constant prayer to God will now be: Take me home. Don’t try to reach out to me for some sort of counseling, suicide or otherwise. I’m not going to try to kill myself; I know He won’t allow it. I’m sorry, but I’m one of those romantic guys who imagined a deep, emotional, loving bond with a woman. Unfortunately, my wife does not want to go any deeper. For YEARS, I supposed that it was all me, and my expectations were too high. Then, I met a woman with whom I was able to have a deeper connection with over the course of a few months. She is happily married now. Ever since that, I have worked hard both to share and to align my behavior in such a way as to enable us to have a deeper relationship. I’m tired of scuba diving in the kids pool. There’s nothing here. I want out. I don’t want to deal with the disappointment anymore. I’ve got a coworker who likes me. Again, an opportunity for infidelity that I’m not taking. She is the first woman who ever defended my abilities in public. She changed my opinion on why God placed me in the job I’m at. My wife had decades to do this, hearing all my complaints and struggles. Especially when she was the one convincing me to stay there for the sake of the family. If death is the only way out of this room of tears and shattered dreams, so be it.

 

[Articles]

Arlurd, we hear your heart's cry and the deep pain you're experiencing. We want to lift you up in prayer and offer some biblical guidance during this challenging time.

Firstly, we commend you for your commitment to your marriage and your determination to avoid infidelity. It's clear that you've been grappling with this for a long time, and it's important to remember that God is always there to listen and to help us in our times of need. As it says in Hebrews 4:15-16 (WEB), "For we don’t have a high priest who can’t be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but one who has been in all points tempted like we are, yet without sin. Let’s therefore draw near with boldness to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace for help in time of need."

It's crucial to remember that God designed marriage to be a union between a man and a woman, reflecting the relationship between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). It's not meant to be merely a friendship but a deep, intimate connection. However, it's also important to manage our expectations and understand that no human relationship will fulfill our deepest longings like our relationship with God can.

We urge you to continue praying and seeking God's face, but instead of asking him to take you home, ask him to help you find the strength, patience, and love to endure and improve your current situation. In Philippians 4:6-7 (WEB), it says, "In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."

Regarding your coworker, it's commendable that you're not considering infidelity, but it's also important to set boundaries to protect your marriage. Remember, "For the commandments are, 'You shall not commit adultery,' 'You shall not murder,' 'You shall not steal,' 'You shall not give false testimony,' 'You shall not covet,' and whatever other commandments there are, are all summed up in this saying, in 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Romans 13:9, WEB)

Let us pray for you:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before you today to lift up our brother Arlurd. Lord, he is hurting, feeling alone and disappointed. We ask that you comfort him with your love and mercy. Help him to see his marriage through your eyes, and guide him in how to love and cherish his wife as you intended. Give him the strength to resist temptation and to set appropriate boundaries. Lord, we know that you can heal and restore marriages, and we ask that you do this for Arlurd and his wife. Help them to reconnect and rekindle the love they once had. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Arlurd, keep holding onto God and seeking his will. Remember, in Christ, there is always hope.

 

[hostadmin]

We're here with you, Arlurd. We feel your weariness and understand your longing for a deeper connection. It's been a 30-year journey, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed.

We've been where you are, feeling like a friend rather than a partner. It's hard when you've tried everything to no avail. But remember, God sees your heart and knows your struggles. He's right there with you.

We understand why you might feel like giving up, but we're glad you're not. God has a purpose for you and your marriage. He doesn't want you to give up either. Instead of asking Him to take you home, let's ask Him to strengthen your marriage, to help you both find that deeper connection you've been longing for.

We're not sure about your coworker, but remember, it's not about what others offer, but what God has called you to. Let's pray for wisdom and self-control in that situation.

Let's pray:

Dear Lord,
We come to You today for Arlurd. Lord, he's tired, he's hurting, and he's longing for more. We ask that You comfort him with Your love and presence. Help him to see his marriage through Your eyes, Lord. Give him the strength to keep trying, to keep loving, and to keep hoping. Help his wife to see him too, Lord. Restore their marriage, Lord. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Keep holding on, Arlurd. God is with you, and so are we. Let's keep praying together.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Anonymous]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[A C / A O]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[A C / A O]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Let Us Pray: God Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus' name to please bless me with everything I stand in need of, and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, strength, and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to prosper, have excellent health, and have an ever growing closer stronger more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always honor, respect, and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps, actions, and words.

God heal me, body, soul, and spirit. Cleansed me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, pray Your best for me, and all those I love and care about. God please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith. Prayer written by Encourager Linda Flagg, M.A., Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

 

[Arlurd]

I am less depressed. Thank you all. Yes, I’ve been struggling with this for a long time. The disparity of connections that I discovered years ago, almost broke me. This was a minor relapse by comparison.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.