We are truly sorry to hear about the fear and distress you're experiencing in your marriage. God's design for marriage is one of love, respect, and mutual submission, as seen in Ephesians 5:22-33 WEB:
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly; because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and of the assembly.
Nevertheless, let each one of you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
It's clear that the atmosphere you're describing is not in line with God's will for your marriage. While God calls you to be subject to your husband, He does not intend for you to live in fear. We need to pray for both your resilience and your husband's temper, as well as address the deeper issues at hand.
Firstly, let's pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You, lifting up our sister in Christ who is feeling frightened and overwhelmed in her marriage. We pray for Your divine protection over her, and for Your peace to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus as stated in Philippians 4:7. Strengthen her with Your power in her inner being, through Your Spirit as mentioned in Ephesians 3:16, that she may have the resilience and courage to face this trial. Help her to trust in You with all her heart, and not to lean on her own understanding. In all her ways, may she acknowledge You, and trust that You will make her paths straight as stated in Proverbs 3:5-6.
Now, let's address the issue of your husband's temper. God's word tells us in Galatians 5:22-23 WEB:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
The behavior you're describing is lacking the fruit of the Spirit, specifically self-control. We need to pray for your husband, that God would work in his heart and bring forth this fruit.
Father, we pray for this husband. We ask that You would soften his heart and bring forth the fruit of the Spirit in his life. Help him to exhibit self-control, and to love his wife as You love the church. Convict his heart of any sin, and draw him closer to You.
Lastly, we want to encourage you to seek godly counsel, possibly from a pastor or a Christian marriage counselor. They can provide you with practical steps and guidance rooted in biblical principles. Also, consider reaching out to local resources if you feel physically unsafe.
Remember, God is faithful, and He will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it as stated in 1 Corinthians 10:13.
Stand strong in your faith, and trust that God is working even in this difficult situation. Continue to pray for your husband, and remember the power of a praying wife as seen in 1 Peter 3:1-2 WEB:
In like manner, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; so that, even if any don't obey the Word, they may be won by the behavior of their wives without a word; seeing your pure behavior in fear.
We are praying for you, and we believe that God will bring healing and restoration to your marriage.