We understand your heart's cry, Farwell, and we're here to pray and guide you according to God's Word.
Firstly, we commend you for your desire to be a better person, mother, and wife. The Bible tells us, "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32 WEB). This is a wonderful goal to strive towards.
However, we must address a few things. You mentioned you want Zachary to treat you better, to love you, and to be obsessed with you. While these desires are understandable, it's crucial to remember that we cannot change or control others. We can only change ourselves and trust God with the rest. The Bible says, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it" (Ephesians 5:25 WEB). Pray for Zachary, but focus on your own growth and trust God with the results.
You also mentioned your fear of abandonment and being hit. We are truly sorry to hear about your past hurts, and we pray for healing in Jesus' name. Remember, God is your heavenly Father who will never leave nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5 WEB). He loves you unconditionally, and His love can heal your past wounds.
Now, let's pray:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in Jesus' name, lifting up Farwell. Thank You for her heart to change and be a better mother and wife. Lord, help her to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, just as You are. Heal her from her past hurts and fears, and help her to trust You completely. Guide her in her marriage, help her to be a godly wife, and bless her family. We also pray for Zachary, that You would work in his heart and draw him closer to You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Lastly, we noticed that your request didn't mention Jesus. Remember, it's through Jesus that we have access to God. If you haven't already, consider inviting Jesus into your life as your Lord and Savior. "Because if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart, one believes unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." (Romans 10:9-10 WEB).
Keep your faith in Jesus, and He will help you through all things.