Anonymous
Beloved of All
It was March 23rd 1995 when I met my husband. When we met I knew I had a purpose to marry him, that we belonged. He was my best friend and soulmate. He was always very funny, could crack a joke anytime and make anyone laugh. Before we got married we had a few heated arguments but always resolved them and the majority of our relationship was very positive. We leaned on each other at opposite times and worked through all our struggles professional and personally together. But it was either after I caught viral meningitis encephalitis which I was very sick for years and still battle problems 16 years later, but the pressures of taking care of me and a home were so overwhelming for him. Or maybe it was the surprise of what I consider a miracle having 2 perfect children that again overwhelmed him. I had been told when I was very young I could not have children but odviously they were wrong thank you God! After my second child the sweetest little boy ever what an incredible blessing. I don't what I did that God rewarded me so kindly after 10 loses with these two children a loving daughter and son. But I feel as though I have done a disservice to them to live in a home where there is so much fighting and anger. I can't make it stop, my husband doesn't love me - even though he says he loves and after all the hurt to me emotionally verbally abd to my son and what my daughter has seen through the years I am not in love with him anymore he just hates everything about me likes everything opposite of and gets upset when I have my own opinion on something he takes it very personal- God I don't know what to do anymore? I am so sad and hurt my best friend left me years ago he regrets being with me but HE WILL NOT LEAVE - so I ask for strength power will to continue to raise my children so they are aware of right and wrong but still manage to maintain their age and happiness- I know they love me so very much and they both know how much I love them but I do believe they are scared something will happen to me I am not a young pup and they will only be with their daddy. And I have to say that is also one of my biggest fears as well.