Methenurelar
Disciple of Prayer
I have had a bad cough / lung congestion or infection or something for 3 weeks now. Today I was coughing so bad I did not get to go to Church. When I rested and woke up I was doing research as my brother was suggesting some pretty far out treatments for my cancer using food grade hydrogen peroxide so I text him research saying otherwise. I guess I upset the whole family at texting too much at the wrong time and now they are upset at me. It is Christmas Eve and I ruined everything and hate myself right now and am crying. I suffer from depression and am on Paxil but times like this the medication does not help. I know my depression has been from growing up with emotional abuse but family has always been a trigger and lack of support around me. This is a hard time and I need prayers. I absolutely hate myself right now and wish I was anything but me. I am socially awkward and type and talk and say too much and bore and frustrate people. Please pray I improve and be a benefit to those around me instead of a hindrance with my autistic tendencies and annoyances.