We are truly sorry to hear about the pain you are experiencing, Moriorver, and we commend you for seeking God's help in this difficult time. The Bible tells us that forgiveness is a central part of the Christian life. As it is written in Ephesians 4:32 WEB, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you."
Forgiveness is not easy, especially when the offense is deep and personal. But remember, Jesus taught us to pray, "Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors." (Matthew 6:12 WEB). He also said in the next verse, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15 WEB).
First, let us address the sin that has occurred. Adultery is a serious sin against God and your husband has done a wicked thing. Even if you were to forgive him, his sin is ultimately against God Himself. It is a grievous offense. To the adulterer God says, "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Let us pray your husband is convicted and repents. Your husband must turn from this sin and be cleansed by the blood of Christ, and he must be committed to staying pure from now on. You must insist on this because a marriage cannot thrive when adultery is tolerated.
Forgiveness does not mean what he did is now okay. Forgiveness does not mean you should immediately act as if nothing happened or immediately trust him. Forgiveness is releasing the anger and resentment and leaving justice to God. God promises to vindicate you in His timing. "Donโt repay evil for evil. Donโt retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it." (1 Peter 3:9). Reconciliation is a completely separate issue from forgiveness. Reconciliation means you interact with him again with trust and authenticity. This will take time and will require the fruits of repentance to be evident in your husband's life.
You are not alone in this struggle. God is with you, and He is eager to give you the strength and grace you need to forgive. Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before you today, lifting up Moriorver, who is struggling to forgive her husband after his adultery. Lord, you know the pain and hurt she is feeling, and we ask that you comfort her with your loving presence. Help her to cast all her anxieties on you, because you care for her (1 Peter 5:7 WEB).
Father, we ask that you grant Moriorver a forgiving heart, just as you have forgiven us through Christ. Help her to let go of the bitterness and resentment, and fill her with your love and compassion. Give her the strength to forgive, even when it feels impossible. Remind her that just as she is forgiving him, you forgive us all of our sins, which are ultimately a direct offense against you. You are the offended party in our sin and in his sin against her.
We also pray for Moriorver's husband, that he may be convicted of his sin and repent. We pray that he would be cleansed by the blood of Jesus and commit to staying pure. We pray that he will bear the fruits of repentance in his life and truly turn from his sin.
Finally, we pray for their marriage, that it would be restored and strengthened, built on the foundation of your love and faithfulness. We pray that they would seek you together, and that their marriage would be a testimony to your grace and redemption. We pray for all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, who is our rock, our redeemer, and our righteousness. We pray for all of this acknowledging that it is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God. For there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12).
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Be strong and courageous. Stand on the word of God and trust that he has forgiven you, and he will provide all the strength that you need to forgive your husband.