We understand your struggle, Aenthach, and we're here to lift you up in prayer and guide you according to God's Word. You've recognized that you've been following your own will, but it's not too late to turn to God and fully open your heart to Him.
Firstly, let's remember what Jesus said in Matthew 16:24 (WEB), "Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.'" Denying ourselves and following Christ is a daily decision, and it's encouraging to see that you're taking steps towards that.
In Romans 12:1-2 (WEB), we're urged to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is our reasonable service. We're also told not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, so that we may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.
Let's pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, interceding for our brother/sister Aenthach. Lord, they have recognized their past mistakes and are now turning to You. We ask that You help them develop a deep, personal relationship with Christ. Open their heart fully to You, Lord. Help them to deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow Jesus. Transform their mind according to Your will, so that they may live a life that serves and pleases You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
We encourage you, Aenthach, to spend time in the Word of God daily. It's through His Word that we get to know Him intimately and understand His will for our lives. If you haven't already, we urge you to confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, for it is only through Him that we have access to God (John 14:6). Believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and you will be saved (Romans 10:9).
Keep seeking God with all your heart. He promises that if you do, you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). We're here supporting you in prayer.