Tlynne44
Disciple of Prayer
first i want to apologize for not coming on here and praying for people like I should. i have prayed for some but not nearly as much as I should. i do have a chronic illness and was just diag w/ something else potentially life threatening and thats when i think oh i need prayer. so it just shows my selfishness that i don't think of others. my kids can be a handful but thats no excuse. tbh i came on here to ask for prayer for my health and family. i have been begging God to bring me home b/c of all thats happening in my family. i feel like i just make everyone miserable b/c im sick. its hard for me to not complain outloud 'oh im in so much pain" my kids dont' need to hear that. my kids also have some issues. my son seems to hate me. hes 17 and bipolar and im not going on vacation with him, my 16 yr old daughter whos on the specturm and worries me to death, my mom and my sister and her fam. they r leaving me home but not just b/c of my illness. my son has lied and really broke up my relationship with my sister. but its a long story. the hardest part is my mom and other fam who got vax, which iasked them not to, are acting so diff and just more distant. im going to have to go 7 days alone while my fam is at the beach. i mainly upset b/c my anxiety is really bad and idk how ill get thru it. thats a LONG time to be away from my kids. i worry about tsunamis. its my anxiety. i worry all the time. i know its the devil but idk how to fight it. im SEVERELY depressed and very sick. so im also worried something could happen to me b/c of this new diagnosis. leg ulcers on my lower legs that are horrible. its vascualitis but the type is the part thats scary. anyway, im so sorry for the long post. im so sorry for not praying for others like i should. i ask God forgive me. im terrified of everything and that includes dying but yet i want to die? doesn't make sense does it. i guess its the WAY i worry about. ive suffered wtih chronic pain so long that i worry of suffering a horrible death. do i sound miserable or what! ty to those who take time to read this mess and pray. God Bless you all and I hope you will be blessed for what you do to help people like me.