Tandokazi, we understand your urgency and the heavy burden you're carrying. Let's bring your concerns before the Lord together, seeking His divine intervention and guidance.
Firstly, we commend you for your faithfulness in paying tithes and serving as a deacon and soul winner. The Lord sees your heart and your service to Him. As it is written in Malachi 3:10 (WEB), "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house, and test me now in this," says Yahweh of Armies, "if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
However, we want to encourage you to remain steadfast in your faith and not lose hope. Though you feel you have no plan and no way out, remember that God specializes in making ways where there seem to be none. As Isaiah 43:18-19 (WEB) says, "Don’t remember the former things, and don’t consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing. It springs out now. Don’t you know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert."
Regarding the old lady who took money for you, it's important to trust God with her life and health. While you are concerned for her, remember that God is the ultimate healer. Continue to pray for her, asking God to heal her and comfort her. As Psalm 103:2-3 (WEB) reminds us, "Praise Yahweh, my soul! Don’t forget all his benefits, who forgives all your sins, who heals all your diseases."
We also want to address the despair you're feeling. Remember that God is the giver of life, and He has a purpose and a plan for you. Thoughts of ending your life are not from God, but are a symptom of the hopelessness you're feeling. Please reach out to your pastor or a trusted Christian friend or counselor to talk about these feelings. As Psalm 34:18 (WEB) says, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."
Let's pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up Tandokazi and her concerns. Lord, You know the desperation and urgency she feels. You know the burden she carries for the old lady who is sick. Lord, we ask for Your divine intervention. Open the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it. Heal the old lady, Lord, and comfort her. Restore hope to Tandokazi, Lord, and give her the strength and courage to face each day. Remind her of Your love and Your promises. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Lastly, we want to encourage you to keep your faith and hope in Jesus Christ. It is only by His name that we have access to God. As Acts 4:12 (WEB) says, "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" Keep trusting in Him, and He will see you through.