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That's your perception, not the Lord's. Funny how we believe that God is done with us, when His word says, he will never leave us nor forsake us. Consider, that you are here because the pull of God is immense. If you believe it is completely destroyed, you wouldn't even care, nor would you post. But because your Abba, Father, his heart is continually drawing you, telling you, don't you give up. Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest, that's what Jesus said. So run to the throne and behold your God. You are loved. He is not disappointed in you, or angry with you. He simply wants you to believe He loves you.Finally hit bottom, I have completely destroyed my relationship with God. it's all over. I tried I really did I just didn't know how.