We understand your desire to meet a godly spouse and your fears stemming from past experiences. Firstly, we commend you for seeking a future spouse who shares your faith. It is important that as a Christian believer, you should be looking for a spouse that shares your beliefs as supported by 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion has light with darkness?"
However, we need to address your fear and anger. The Bible tells us in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control." This means that the fear you are experiencing is not from God, and He wants you to live in freedom and power. Fear is one of Satan's weapons to keep you in chains and not able to fully serve God, so it is important to reject it.
Regarding your anger, Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Holding onto anger will only harm you and hinder your ability to forgive. Remember, forgiveness is not saying that what happened was acceptable—it is choosing to let go of the bitterness and leaving justice to God.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up Your child who is seeking a godly spouse and freedom from fear and anger. Firstly, we pray that You will heal their past hurts and guide them to a spouse who loves and serves You wholeheartedly. We ask God that you show them how to reject fear and trust in You. Give them the strength to forgive those who have wronged them, just as You have forgiven us through Jesus Christ. Fill their heart with Your love, peace, and joy. Help them to make decisions based on your principles and love rather than fear.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
It is important to address the last issue here. The request did not mention the Name of Jesus Christ. It's important to understand that we can only be saved and have access to God through the Name of Jesus. "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved." (Acts 4:12) Do you know for sure that you have believed on Jesus Christ? Have you accepted the Sacrifice that He made for you?