seekingmercy
Faithful Servant
Father three years back, I changed. I started drinking, I went out clubbing and dancing. Of course, I studied and worked long hours to do well in my masters degree, and I always thanked you for the life I had, and the success career wise and studies wise. Even personal life I was happy. But 2 years back, I decided that drinking and partying was not me, and I decided to stop all that. I also stopped eating meat. And I felt so guilty over my drinking, that I realized that all the bad things that happened in my life was a way for me to realize that drinking for wrong and I should stop it not just for health reasons but for my own conscience and stuff. And I have spent my time working hard and trying to maintain good and productive friendships and relationships. But I just became more and more miserable.
Judge not and ye shall not be judged. Three years back, I judged all those girls who cheated on their husbands when they got opportunities and thought I was righteous. Forgive me for my pride. All of them are happy and content in their lives. I am not. I became a mess. Forgive my fake pride. Forgive my mistakes. Erase that one year, erase my losing out and drinking and partying. Friends have tried to make me do that for years since my undergrad but I stayed away because it didn't feel right to me. But I gave in. Forgive all my sins. Forgive me taking a leap over the guy I met. Forgive me for meeting him over Thanksgiving and even though my gut told me to walk away I let him convince me to give it a shot and got deeply mired in guilt and misery. I hate this part of my life, and I beg you to forgive me, and for not listening to you.
Judge not and ye shall not be judged. Three years back, I judged all those girls who cheated on their husbands when they got opportunities and thought I was righteous. Forgive me for my pride. All of them are happy and content in their lives. I am not. I became a mess. Forgive my fake pride. Forgive my mistakes. Erase that one year, erase my losing out and drinking and partying. Friends have tried to make me do that for years since my undergrad but I stayed away because it didn't feel right to me. But I gave in. Forgive all my sins. Forgive me taking a leap over the guy I met. Forgive me for meeting him over Thanksgiving and even though my gut told me to walk away I let him convince me to give it a shot and got deeply mired in guilt and misery. I hate this part of my life, and I beg you to forgive me, and for not listening to you.
