Pirhach
Disciple of Prayer
Dear Father God, you are wise and you are kind to your children. You are merciful and you alone have the power to make straight our ways. You never turn away from one who sincerely repents and keeps away from sinning. I am a person who did many wrong things in the past, including sexual immorality. Please forgive me for all my past sexual misadventures and lust. I fell pray to it because I didn't know you - I mean, I knew about you but I didn't trust, didn't have any faith, not in you or myself or anything. I was like a leaf blown about by the wind. I grew up without you like an orphan. My parents cared, but they were atheists and they were troubled themselves and eventually divorced. And I wasn't a pretty girl, I was told many times that I was plain and ugly. I believed I was bad and I would never get married, as no-one would ever want me. But when I was in my 20s I found some men who were attracted to me. I was amazed, because this made me feel a bit better about myself, just the thought of at least being attractive to someone. And by and by, I lost my moral principles and had sexual relationships with a few men. Nothing ever came of those relationships, they all left me, except for one man who was an alcoholic. We had four children and he wanted marriage at some point, but I didn't want to marry him because our relationship was highly explosive and abusive. In the end I ran away from him with the children to save my sanity and theirs. Two years later I met and fell in love with another man, divorced and much older than me, and we had a long relationship, but to my grief he never wanted to marry me because he doesn't believe in marriage and doesn't want to affect his children's inheritance. He has no belief either. After a very stormy relationship (because I accused him of lack of commitment) we're still "kind of" together, but not as a couple. We're much older now, I have renounced sexual relations between us because I don't want to "live in sin" indefinitely, but we just keep each other company these days.
And now I'm coming to get to know and trust you, Lord, as a grandmother - better late than never! But I would still love to be married. If it is your will, it is not too late for you to make an honest woman of this servant of yours, perhaps even make her better looking, and bless her with a husband.
In Jesus' name and in trust, I pray. Thank you for listening, Lord, I know you hear my prayers. Amen.
And now I'm coming to get to know and trust you, Lord, as a grandmother - better late than never! But I would still love to be married. If it is your will, it is not too late for you to make an honest woman of this servant of yours, perhaps even make her better looking, and bless her with a husband.
In Jesus' name and in trust, I pray. Thank you for listening, Lord, I know you hear my prayers. Amen.