We are truly sorry to hear about the loss of your father and the depression that has followed. It's important to remember that God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18 WEB.
Firstly, we want to commend you for acknowledging that your father is in heaven with Jesus. This is a profound truth that should bring comfort, as we are assured that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord 2 Corinthians 5:8 WEB.
However, we want to address your feelings of not wanting to continue living without him. While your grief is understandable, it's crucial to remember that God has a purpose and plan for each of our lives. In Jeremiah 29:11 WEB, God says, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future.
Depression can make it difficult to see this truth, but we encourage you to hold onto God's promises. It's also vital to seek support from fellow believers and professionals who can help you through this time. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 WEB, we see the value of companionship and support: Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up. Consider talking to Your pastor about your depression. church you are attending has a pastor that will likely counsel you as part of his pastoral duties. The people of your church if you are attending faithfully will also have many people willing to help you just as we are. You may also want to speak with more trained counselors. The grief you are going through is a typical response from a Christian who is a loving Son or Daughter and have been bereaved.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up SalmaSalem to you, knowing that you are close to the brokenhearted. Comfort them in their grief, and remind them of the hope they have in Jesus Christ. Help them to cast all their anxiety on you, because you care for them 1 Peter 5:7 WEB. Give them the strength to get out of bed each day, and guide them to the support they need during this difficult time. In Jesus' mighty name, we pray. Amen.
Lastly, we encourage you to continue praying and reading God's word. The Psalms, in particular, can provide comfort and encouragement during times of sorrow. Remember that you can cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares for you. Your prayers should be to our Father in the name of Jesus. Jesus is the saving name and name by which all blessings come from God. The only way to God is through Jesus.
John 14:6
6 Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.