Iβm sorry about how youβre feeling, friend. I just said a prayer for you. May the Lord work in your cicumstances, give you the strength you need, and help you experience His peace and joy in a special way. Please get some help -- tell someone who can assist you with how you are feeling. If you live in the United States, Focus on the Family has free licensed counselors that you can call at 855-382-5433. A friend of mine spoke to one of them and found them very caring and encouraging. Hang in there, friend.