Kunzang Tenzin
Disciple of Prayer
Even I feel that God has actually forgotten me and does not care about me and my family's wellbeing. Iam unemployed and have 5 kids of 4 are going to school and the last one with Down syndrome. I have tried to survive through doing some odd jobs and also have started a small travel agency to help bring up my kids and feed them. But then it's been many years I have been struggling to meet even to pay for my kids school needs. Iam not able to pay the house rents and on many occasion the house owner would threten to lock the door and kick us away for not paying the rents. In the mean time, I got an inquiry for the travel package cost to visit my country through my agency and it was a large group from which I could have made good profit to pay out all my debts. After about 30 emails the group was confirmed and I booked all the hotels and everything. Now the last thing was to wire transfer the tour package payments which was about $61000 for 29 people for 11 days tour. I was excited and have thanked God for finally I was blessed and would not have to vacate the house and let my kids live on the street. I was asked to send the invoice to transfer the payments which I promptly did. But after waiting for the payments for 2 weeks, there was total silence and there was no sign of forget about payments but even there was no reply for my repeated reminders. Now all the hotels which I booked for them are asking cancellation charges of about $10000 and iam awe strucked why God would do this to me. In my previous years, I have lost in my business and I went to deep debt. Lost 2 cars for nothing in the midst of those business loss. Iam a devote and born again believer and have brought many of my friends to Christ. But iam not able to raise myself from my poverty and instead iam put back into debt. I don't know how I would be able to bring up my kids and my family. I pray everyday and wanted to know what's that makes Jesus unhappy that I must always remain poor and in debts. I feel so shy to go out from my place because everywhere I go I meet someone who would ask "when are you going to pay?" And some would threaten to use social media to shame me. I feel God does not care me and atleast my family who are always praying day and night.